Anyway, I took a closer look at the DMG method of distributing levels in the population, and noticed something curious:
In a city of over 25,000, you end up with 4 NPC commoners of level 4d4+12. That of course raises the possibility of epic level commoners. The trouble is, the epic feats seem innapropriate for commoners. In the spirit of some of our more recent threads, I thought we could develop a series of ideas for Epic Commoner feats.
What sort of epic abilities would relate to Commoners' lives?
- Whirlwind manure-shoveling
- Give birth as a move equivalent action
- +10 to Intimidate rolls against small children.
...
Eat your soup as a quick action then eat your meal as a standard action!
Evade Slavery
*dies laughing*
Oh man, that's friggin' awesome. :D
-X
Retreat
Greater Retreat
Fear Of Plants
Highly amusing.
As for feats:
Cactus Sense (distinguish between those few mundane cactus' and the blood-sucking majority; enables the NPC to harvest produce in areas normally inaccessible/deadly to non-Epic NPCs)
...it's a Friday and I'm tired. Maybe I'll think of something else later.
rapid perspiration
blinding speed cooking
improved spice selection
improved ripeness testing
legendary sun tan
improved sun protection
legendary body odour
devastating body odour
body odour turning
Whirlwind manure-shoveling
?
Lastard >8)
You can put your pants on both legs at the same time
Prerequisites: Epic, Dex 21+
You have learned to reduce the waiting time in lines significantly.
Prerequisites: Epic, Cha 13+
BenefitYou can skip lines of 3 people or less, which are waiting for their turn to buy bread or water or to enter the city gate. For lines that are longer than 3 people, you reduce the waiting time by 50%.
Normal: you can easily wait for hours just to enter the city gate or to buy some water.
Prerequisite:
wis 13+, iron will, will save +5
go into a voluntairy state of being dazed, while in this state with help from this feat, the commoner is also immune to all fear and mind affecting spells and effects.
Improved Dumbfoundedness
Prerequisite:
Dumbfoundedness, Epic
same as before + char is able to perform 1 normal action per round.
(being a "simpleton" sometimes has it's perk's)
You take less damage from your own stupidity
Benefits: You gain 1/- damage resistance from self-inflicted damage such as hitting your thumb with a hammer or accidentally running into a wall.
Dad Strength
If the character is twenty to thrity years older (relative to human age) than his adversary, he gets a +5 bonus to all strength checks. If the character in question is the actual father, the strength bonus improves to +10.
If the character is outside of the twenty to thirty year age, no bonuses can apply.
Legendary Ignorance
The character's sense of apathy has been elevated to epic levels. This ignorance allows the character to accept his or her lot in a brutal, oppressive, totalitarian slave society without challenging the status quo. In fact, the character will convincingly defend the status quo, gaining an automatic +5 modifier to all persuasion checks. The character is impervious to morale loss caused by second-hand death, chaos, and injustice which surrounds him or her. (This imperviousness vanishes when said character becomes the target of such oppression.) Characters with legendary ignorance can also double the moral bonus provided by such banal activities such as watching the gladitorial games or gossiping about the neighbors.
I am sure that we could add more, but this is from the top of my head.
itf
Prerequisites: Must be a mother, Wis 15+
Benefit: When dealing with your children, grandchildren, or any other child of relation whom you are currently taking care of, you gain a +10 competence bonus to Intimidate checks to coerce them into following your instructions. If the target successfully resists the Intimidate check, you must immediately make a Will DC 15 save or else go into a berserker rage as per the Barbarian class feature. This rage ends once you have dealt non-lethal damage to the target, preferrably delivered via the palm of your hand, a belt, broom straws, or other similar household implement.
you forgot the wooden spoon.:P
That's why I said "...or other similar household implement." Had to cover all my bases.
Daddy voice - raises intimidate level of speaker +6.
Skip work - create an incredibly plausible excuse to stay at home
My Space - block out any distracting noise so you can either complete the task at hand uninterupted or take a solid nap!
Superior Nap - you are able to take naps at any time and under any circumstances.
Epic, Dex 15+
Have the ablity to throw a small child (or Halfling) at the next Raiding Monster to save your own skin. (We all know this is SO true, throw some one else at the creature inorder for YOU not to get eaten)