Utter screed

Post/Author/DateTimePost
#1

sildatorak

Sep 29, 2003 15:05:53
I was just wondering what some of the crazy bits o' rumor are out there. Let's see what sort of dark we can stir up today, like this one:

Akin isn't such a bad guy after all. The whole "friendly fiend" bit is just that. Before you go tossing me back in the Gatehouse, let me say that this isn't totally unfounded. Rare as they may be, there are fallen celestials. Why can't there be risen fiends (or would they be fallen fiends? is neutral the bottom or is evil?). Also take a gander at Shemeska and her undying hatred of him. I'm not saying that arcanoloths are normally chummy with one another, but they generally keep their ugly dog faces out of each other's business unless their is interference between what they are doing. She deals in information, backstabbing, and protection, among other things, and he is in magical item sales. It doesn't seem to me that those areas overlap. If he were tainted with (shudder) goodness, though...that would be something worth hating him for. Exterminating him would be tough to do, though, without creating suspicion, so she bides her time. That is what 'loths do best, after all. Who knows, maybe Akin is just waiting for the best moment to elimintate the King of the Crosstrade for the greater good.
#2

Shemeska_the_Marauder

Sep 29, 2003 16:10:44
*GLARE* :headexplo

"Oh its not enough that you have to mention HIS name, but whats this about "ugly dog faces" ?!"




*suddenly smoothes out gown and gets calm and cold as a block of ice and simply... smiles pleasantly*

"Good day berk, my pre-emptive regrets to your descendants. Not that I'm implying anything at all. Nothing."

(Both of them are absolutely a joy to use in a campaign, and its ALWAYS ambigious if A'kin is or isn't a risen fiend, or an outcast, or involved with Shemeska on a nightly basis, her brother or both that and the previous, etc)

(Consider that the source of the sound deadening plate armor from the Gray Waste, worn by Autochon the Bellringer, essentially broken and played like a puppet by The Marauder, was from a little magic shop in the lower ward known as The Friendly Fiend and run by A'kin. Odd for them to be mentioned in the same breath, especially if he sighs at her mention and apologizes for her, and she hates him passionately. *grin*)

(Complicated situation doesn't begin to describe those two 'loths)
#3

sildatorak

Sep 29, 2003 18:29:21
Shemeska, you'll have to forgive my use of the term "ugly dog faces." I was only referring to arcanoloths in general, and I meant "ugly" in relationship to your glorious countenance. Arcanoloths are, of course, the most beautiful of their type in general, with you being the pinacle of them. Unfortunately, that type is "things that eat ALPO."
Today's flavor of madness is "suicidal."
#4

Shemeska_the_Marauder

Sep 29, 2003 19:53:15
*wonders if you're a bleaker and touched in the head like most of them are*

'I hear that tongue tastes rather good. In the market to sell one by chance? I know some very nice githyanki chefs would could prepare it very nicely for me this evening at the Fortune's Wheel.

Spiced with just a hint of osyluth pineal gland and soaked in the sap of styx watered razorvine. Very very nice. Care to be a dinner guest? In one manner of speaking anyways.'

*narrows eyes and smirks*

(things that eat ALPO? *giggle*)
#5

zombiegleemax

Sep 29, 2003 20:00:40
I think Sildatorak's spent a bit of time on Pandemonium...

But now I have a new artistic inspiration...This one of Her Loveliness Shemeska dining on the assorted body parts and appendages of a Bleaker or two.

*grinning, the tiefling Sensate hurries off to his studio to begin preliminary sketches*

What would you like to wear while eating, Your Loveliness?
#6

primemover003

Sep 29, 2003 20:11:51
Shemeska your tastes remind me of a certain Night Hag restaurateur in the Hive who wanted a few of my friends for dinner. Fortunately we were able to persuade her Bar-Lagura provisioners and a certain silver-dagger carrying Cambion that we weren't as appetizing as advertised... all of this brokered by a Yagnaloth by the name of Inimigle. Funny how it seems all of the interesting events in this burg are instigated by those of the Yugoloth persuasion...
#7

Shemeska_the_Marauder

Sep 29, 2003 20:35:10
Originally posted by Tertek
I think Sildatorak's spent a bit of time on Pandemonium...

But now I have a new artistic inspiration...This one of Her Loveliness Shemeska dining on the assorted body parts and appendages of a Bleaker or two.

*grinning, the tiefling Sensate hurries off to his studio to begin preliminary sketches*

What would you like to wear while eating, Your Loveliness?

'Oh I'd be honored by the artistic work. I have high standards though mind you. No Bleakniks and I've had bad experiences in the past with some Xaositects. Not The Painter mind you. But very few of that pack of barmies have her skill. Amazing the noises they make when they get tossed over the rim at suicide alley at antipeak! ... so I hear.'

'And hmm... my favorite gown here, the snug and strapless blue one was actually a gift some centuries ago by a sensate I fell in with. Kept it ever since. Made not of fabric but thousands of tiny blue, green, and pale violet glass beads strung upon very very fine metal threads.'

'I've also taken to wearing a silver shawl with black trim over my shoulders and arms along with a long skirt of the same material and a snug little black corset type thing above that.'

*continues on in excruciating detail about various outfits ad nauseam*
#8

Shemeska_the_Marauder

Sep 29, 2003 20:39:49
re: primemover003

"Except that Hags don't have taste, and even fewer have dinner guests of any interest at all. I have both in excess. If I do say so myself."

"And a pity about your experiences in the Hive. I hope none of your companions came to any poor end in the belly of that Hag."

"And a Yagnaloth you say?" *rolls eyes*

"Yagnaloths have a bloated sense of self worth far beyond their abilities and their intelligence. I can't say much good about them at all, nor why the powers that be in Khin-Oin would ever seek to elevate them to the positions they often hold."
#9

zombiegleemax

Sep 29, 2003 20:47:31
"Sorry to interrupt this delightful little circus, but ain't we got screed to chat about. Quit rattlin' ya' bone boxes, berks, and listen well!

I've got some chant I picked up off a blood that goes by the name of Tiggyln. See this Void Genasi is walkin' on Yggdrassil. Yeah, I said Void Genasi, can I continue?! Barmy berks, won't even let a body tell his tales! Well, Tiggyln is walking on Yggdrassil trying to get from Ysgard to one of the material worlds when he comes upon a strange sight indeed. See a bunch of Flayers seemed to be having a picnic on the tree. There was nearly four dozen of 'em standing around looking as comfortable as if they were prancing around old Ilsense herself. So, being a curious blood, as most of them genasi are won't to be, Tiggyln casts a spell of invisibility and hunkers down to watch. He was smart enought to stay far enough away that those brain eatin' beasties to keep 'em from locating him with their telepa- telekinesi - telekenais - mind powers.

So my friend hunkers down and waits, but those Flayers with their damn mindspeak weren't saying anything outloud for him to hear. Just as he's about to return on his way, a creature crests from across the the tree and moves up to the Illithids. Following it are a large group of 'loths, some of each flavor. At first Tyggln didn't know what the thing was but now that he's been home to the Cage and done some studyin', he swears that it was a Baernoloth. A Baernoloth, one of the executors of the 'loth race! Anyway so the Baern says in his horrible doom voice, "Hello, my children," and then the wierdest thing happens. The creatures skeletal head begins to mutate and transmogrifies into that of an Octopus. Thousands of tendrils littlered the creatures mouth and pale skin stretches tight over its odd-bonework. The thing had become some kind of crazy Illithid demon!

So then the Flayers, speaking out loud for once, all in unison gurgle, "Greetings Father Who Resides in the Depths."

Now my friend is getting as antsy as an Ice Mephit in the city of Brass by this point. He'd been sitting in the same position for upwards of an hour and his curiosity was getting the better of him. Trying to sneak a bit closer, he catches a Ratatosk on a bump and falls flat on his face. The Flayers and the 'Loths all look at him in their evil ways and a chase ensued. Ol' Tiggyln just barely escaped too. It woulda been a shame if they'd caught him, there are so few Void Genasi around nowadays.

So that's my chant. I think it was worth a few jink, eh Cutter? Opens up a bunch o' questions don't it? What do the Flayers and the 'loths have to do with each other and why did those Flayers call that Baern Father? Are 'loths and Flayers one and the same? Millenia ago the Flayers ruled much of the Prime, did they actually go into decline or did they retreat into the Lower planes returning to their fiendish forms? Or maybe the Fiends were Flayers first and changed to suit the stereotypical form of the 'loth. Wrap your Brain-box around that!"

-Gentry Mileue, Tiefling Indep
#10

primemover003

Sep 29, 2003 21:43:13
Well my friend has alwys told me that Yagnaloth's got their lofty positions cause they managed to trick the rest of the lower 'loths into... an Arm Wrestling match!!! Oh, that's always a good one.
#11

Shemeska_the_Marauder

Sep 29, 2003 22:52:07
Originally posted by L33t Angel
"Sorry to interrupt this delightful little circus, but ain't we got screed to chat about. Quit rattlin' ya' bone boxes, berks, and listen well!

"Well, its an interesting tale I should say. But keep in mind it came from an indep. And we all know about them now don't we?"

"Says he say one of the Baern did he? One of the Fathers of the Waste eh? Well if what he says was true, I say the wools been pulled over the eyes of your friend."

"See, no chance the flayers became us 'loths. Frankly I find that very idea an insult to my core. They're evil yes, some of them them terribly so. But they're not 'pure' enough in that respect like a 'loth. And even more, the Baern and the 'loths existed before the birth of the first Illithid from the godbrain's twisted mind."

"On the other hand I can see one of the Paragons of Despair, the Baern, using the Illithids for some purpose. Controlling them even. "

"The illithids, consumers of mortal brains themselves, are thirsty for knowledge. And who might have more darks than one of our creators, a Baern? A temptation to an illithid to commune with a Baern. And that would be their downfall."

"The Baernaloth have a talent it seems for using other fiends, both Tanar'ri and Baatezu can fall under their sway simply by being in their presence I've been told. As the progenitors of undiluted, unsullied evil, might it not be plausable that they could extend this to a mortal race like the illithid perhaps? Sinking the hooks of the Waste into the children of Illsensine, and then by proxy to siphon into the core of the godbrain itself?"

"What if that was the case? What indeed. But as others have said before me, alas I cannot prove a word."
#12

zombiegleemax

Sep 29, 2003 23:55:06
"Y'have to consider, too, from all accounts, the 'loths seem more interested in the Lower Planes and the Blood War than they are with the Prime.

"Moreover, there's a bit of dark that was running around here a while ago that suggests Ilsensine was a creation of the baatezu that went horribly wrong (for the baatezu). They made some big brain-pool thing and it turned stag on them and went on to make the illithids. It's little-known chant and it may very well be screed but it makes a basher think.

"Now, being a tiefling with a reasonable dose of 'loth heritage, I find it hard to believe that the illithids would have any connection with the 'loths at all. If they did, why don't the 'loths show more natural promise with psionics or try t' eat the very minds of mortals? Also, as Her Loveliness pointed out, illithids are mortal. Mortal enough for the gith to give 'em the laugh. I don't think an illithid could stand up to an ultraloth.

"I hate to be so harsh, Indep, but I think you and your sodding friend are full of screed."
#13

zombiegleemax

Sep 30, 2003 0:01:06
"Ain't that what we're here for, Cutter? Screed?"
#14

zombiegleemax

Sep 30, 2003 0:15:53
"Aye, berk, but a peery basher'd do well not to underestimate an Indep. Besides, being a Sensate, I've got a certain respect for your kind. Indeps all have a lot of different stories to tell, even if they're half-full of screed and the only real dark is where in the basher's brain-box the story came from."
#15

primemover003

Sep 30, 2003 17:36:37
Well the most Screed filled tale I've ever heard was told to me by one Draav'n Nightblade, a drow fence and tailor in the Gatehouse Night market. This Free Leaguer claimed to have witnessed a gaggle of "green from the Prime," clueless stroll through a Portal into Plague-Mort's central market.

Right in front of the Arch-Lector's Steel palace, in full view of Byrri Ymoril's thugs, a wild eyed dwarf wearing a headspike half as tall as he was, strolled right up to the gate guards and actually talked his way through. The feat of it wasn't just that such an uncouth specimen of Moradin's ilk could schmooze his hairy stunted backside past the guards, it was that he did it with two, still bleeding heads impaled upon the spike!

"Oh the glorious chaos," my friend exclaimed as he relayed that the rest of the sods sprung a winsome damsel in distress, setting the Steel Palace ablaze, and walked back through the streets to the Portal they arrived in, drinking vintage bottles of the Arch-Lector's notoriously coveted Heartwine!!!

Not since Red Shoud's Naughty Nighties were filched by the tiefling Taker Kevden Megdal has a story amused me more
#16

sildatorak

Oct 01, 2003 0:55:25
Never underestimate the power of the clueless Primes. Fiends may be the most common summoned creatures for wizards of power on the prime, but that wouldn't stop one from inventing a new spell like primemover003 summoning I. In fact, I recently heard a tale that a prime wizard created a variant of conjure elemental that tied in true name magic. He created quite a stir in the city of glass when he started gating in specific noble marids (water genies to you, and they say only primes are clueless) and forcing them to do his dishes! The haughtiest and most powerful of the elementals (other than the arcanomentals, of course) reduced to servant work . I also heard that he stopped this activity recently, mainly because he was drowned under suspicious circumstances (partly because all copies of his spell books were stolen at roughly the same time).