Modrons Found Alive and Well! - Downloaded from the Wizards Community, all coding removed by Solauren

Modrons Found Alive and Well!

Post/Author/DateTime Post
#1
gray_richardson
Aug 03, 2004 0:26:47 Dateline Mechanus, Cog 68

Many berks are resting easier tonight now that the Modrons have been found alive and well on cog 68. They were discovered today at 1300 hours Mechanus Daylight Time when Deputy Gontarg of the cog 68 Sheriff's department was called to investigate a report of an illegal trespass.

"They was just millin' about on this beach here, they didn't have a permit for a concert or a parade or nuthin" said Deputy Gontarg. "Turns out they own the beach and they wasn't makin' any noise or celebratin' or nuthin' so's I couldn't charge 'em with nuthin'. But when I ran 'em through the computer they came up as matchin' the missing persons report for them Modrons that disappeared back around when 3E came out."

The Modron leader Primus had the following comments. "I just took the boys to the beach to relax and catch some rays. They were all a little frazzled after that whole Orcus thing and with being forced to march out of synch with the order of things and all. Them little buggers came through like real troupers though despite everything, let me tell you! I love those little guys. To let them unwind I thought I would take them to the beach for a much needed vacation. So here we are on the beautiful shores of cog 68, basking in the sun."

A secundus commented that "A lot of the littler drones lost their sunglasses when we passed through that necropolis on cog 34. No ears you see. They tend to slip off real easy. A lot of berks are calling them 'Mechanus Lenses' Ha! They're really just Raybans!"

"I didn't realize people were out looking for us. I had the post office hold the mail, I let the paper boy know. Paid the lawn guy to keep up the yard through the next cycle. They could have just called me. Hello! Hasn't anyone heard of cell phones?!" said Primus.

"I thought I would give the guys the next cycle off. We're just gonna relax here by the beach, play some badminton, knock the volleyball around, shoot some hoops, have a few limbo contests, drink a lot of beer and take it easy for awhile. But I will have them all back at their gears ready to work first thing monday morning at the start of the next cycle. Let's see... that's about 11.4 of your years from now."

The cog 68 Sheriff's department did not charge the Modrons with any crime. The missing persons file has now been closed.
#2
zombiegleemax
Aug 03, 2004 0:47:36 :D
#3
zombiegleemax
Aug 03, 2004 0:59:32
#4
Shemeska_the_Marauder
Aug 03, 2004 1:55:37

Now all we need is a 'Cops' parody titled 'loths' IMAGE(http://arcanofox.foxpaws.net/shemmysmile.gif)
#5
mithral_icesilver_02
Aug 03, 2004 16:18:18 If you've seen the Cuisine of the Planes thread, nothing beats a cooking show hosted by a slaad and a Xaosman.
#6
dndgameupdate1
Sep 06, 2004 6:35:54 Good story!
#7
zombiegleemax
Sep 06, 2004 11:29:07 Most extremely excellent.

Do Modrons have Limbo contests?
#8
mithral_icesilver_02
Sep 06, 2004 12:23:27 A show hosted by a rogue modron, a grey slaad (or Xanxost), an Argentach rilmani, an Ursinal guardinal, an Arcanoloth (better yet, two: Shemeska AND A'kin), and a Prime (preferably a kender). This would probably be a better comedy than a cooking show. Especially since there are an awful lot of sharp objects in a cooking show. Prepare for disaster. Especially if they are stuck on a deserted island with all the modern living comforts except for a boat. And the surrounding ocean is patrolled by dire sharks.
#9
jasperdm
Sep 06, 2004 12:25:12
Most extremely excellent.

Do Modrons have Limbo contests?

They did. Once. The monodrones all tied for first, and they gave up.
#10
zombiegleemax
Sep 06, 2004 14:38:21
A cooking show hosted by a rogue modron, a grey slaad (or Xanxost), an Argentach rilmani, an Ursinal guardinal, an Arcanoloth (better yet, two: Shemeska AND A'kin), and a Prime (preferably a kender).

Damage resistance would be a problem. You'd have to have several sets of kitchen utensils around: adamantine cleavers, holy boning knives, cold iron bread knives, et cetera...
#11
mithral_icesilver_02
Sep 12, 2004 19:37:41 That's why they need to be on a deserted island instead. There's no such thing as a cold iron coconut.
#12
zombiegleemax
Sep 14, 2004 12:19:35 I had a couple of modrons pull a stand-up comedy routine in my Planescape PBMB game. They were called the Modron Brothers (Brother 01 & Brother 02), working out of Chirper's, an inn in Sigil (they were listed on the schedule for the theater there).

Here's the routine they used:

Brother 01: "Hello Brother zero-two!"
Brother 02: "Greetings Brother zero-one!"
Brother 01: "I just flew in from the Plane of Air...and boy are my aerial appendages tired!!" *ba-dump! Pshh!*

Some of the crowd chuckles, but otherwise remain attentive.

Brother 02: "Brother zero-one, I ran into a Xaositect the other day."
Brother 01: "What did he say, Brother zero-two?"
Brother 02: "He said I have to loosen up. I did what he said, but my arm extremities fell off!" *ba-dump! Pshh!*

The audience chuckles with a bit more enthusiasm, more at the idea of seeing a couple modrons taking the roll of comedians.

Brother 01: "Why did the Xaosman cross the road, Brother zero-two?"
Brother 02: "I don't know, Brother zero-one. Why did the Xaosman cross the road?"
Brother 01: "Who knows?" *ba-dump! Pshh!*

They both shrug to each other at the answer to the joke.

The audience gleefully chuckles. One member nudging his companion and whicspering, "It's true ya know!"

"Aye, aye!" The other replies.

Brother 02: "Hey Brother zero-one. I ran into a petitioner of the lower plane of Baator the other day."
Brother 01: "What did he say, Brother zero-two?"
Brother 02: "He said, 'Take my life, please!!'" *Ba-dump! Pshh!*

Bouts of laughter spout from the audience. Some high and piercing, others low and throaty growls. Squeaks and squawks...cackles and clicks. Someone shouts, " Aye! Those poor sods!!" and laughs ludly.

Brother 01: "Hey Brother zero-two, I was communicating with a man on Pandemonium last week."
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?"
Brother 01: "What?"
Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" *Ba-dump! Pshh!*

Through the long joke the laughs finally start pouring in as the meaning is grasped.

Brother 02: "Hey Brother zero-one. What do you call a Wraithworm in Sigil?"
Brother 01: "I am not sure, Brother zero-two. What do you call a Wraithworm in Sigil?"
Brother 02: "A Ringworm!"*Ba-dump! Pshh!*

Was fun.
#13
zombiegleemax
Sep 14, 2004 16:34:58

Thankyou Mr. Richardson!
#14
zombiegleemax
Sep 14, 2004 20:26:57
I had a couple of modrons pull a stand-up comedy routine in my Planescape PBMB game. They were called the Modron Brothers (Brother 01 & Brother 02), working out of Chirper's, an inn in Sigil (they were listed on the schedule for the theater there).

I don't suppose that they did that old "Who's from Curst? What's a Secundus?" routine, did they?
#15
zombiegleemax
Sep 14, 2004 20:29:09 Lol, don't bring up that Who's on First routine, it's been killed. No matter WHAT form it's in.
#16
nedlum
Sep 14, 2004 22:14:19 As a side note, I think that the lawful plane-touched race (whose name I forget) would probably have a nasty habit of overtelling jokes, like Marlin in Finding Nemo. On the other hand, creatures of chaos would tell completly nonsenscial jokes, fiends would favor sick humor, and... Not sure on the celestials.
#17
zombiegleemax
Sep 14, 2004 22:46:00 ITs called a Zenythri, one of the PC's in a game I DM plays one.
#18
sildatorak
Sep 15, 2004 2:30:30
On the other hand, creatures of chaos would tell completly nonsenscial jokes, fiends would favor sick humor, and... Not sure on the celestials.

A good joke on the Abyss goes along the lines of

Tanar'ri: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Petitioner: I don't know why did the…Oh god! You've stabbed me right in the spleen! That hurts! Why are you twisting that! etc, etc, etc
Tanar'ri: To get to the other side.
#19
zombiegleemax
Sep 15, 2004 6:24:50
A good joke on the Abyss goes along the lines of

Tanar'ri: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Petitioner: I don't know why did the…Oh god! You've stabbed me right in the spleen! That hurts! Why are you twisting that! etc, etc, etc
Tanar'ri: To get to the other side.

#20
gray_richardson
Sep 15, 2004 7:34:19 Thanks! Now I have sprayed my morning coffee all over my keyboard from laughing so hard! :heehee
#21
zombiegleemax
Sep 15, 2004 10:22:50

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 gray_richardson Aug 03, 2004 0:26:47	Dateline Mechanus, Cog 68 Many berks are resting easier tonight now that the Modrons have been found alive and well on cog 68. They were discovered today at 1300 hours Mechanus Daylight Time when Deputy Gontarg of the cog 68 Sheriff's department was called to investigate a report of an illegal trespass. "They was just millin' about on this beach here, they didn't have a permit for a concert or a parade or nuthin" said Deputy Gontarg. "Turns out they own the beach and they wasn't makin' any noise or celebratin' or nuthin' so's I couldn't charge 'em with nuthin'. But when I ran 'em through the computer they came up as matchin' the missing persons report for them Modrons that disappeared back around when 3E came out." The Modron leader Primus had the following comments. "I just took the boys to the beach to relax and catch some rays. They were all a little frazzled after that whole Orcus thing and with being forced to march out of synch with the order of things and all. Them little buggers came through like real troupers though despite everything, let me tell you! I love those little guys. To let them unwind I thought I would take them to the beach for a much needed vacation. So here we are on the beautiful shores of cog 68, basking in the sun." A secundus commented that "A lot of the littler drones lost their sunglasses when we passed through that necropolis on cog 34. No ears you see. They tend to slip off real easy. A lot of berks are calling them 'Mechanus Lenses' Ha! They're really just Raybans!" "I didn't realize people were out looking for us. I had the post office hold the mail, I let the paper boy know. Paid the lawn guy to keep up the yard through the next cycle. They could have just called me. Hello! Hasn't anyone heard of cell phones?!" said Primus. "I thought I would give the guys the next cycle off. We're just gonna relax here by the beach, play some badminton, knock the volleyball around, shoot some hoops, have a few limbo contests, drink a lot of beer and take it easy for awhile. But I will have them all back at their gears ready to work first thing monday morning at the start of the next cycle. Let's see... that's about 11.4 of your years from now." The cog 68 Sheriff's department did not charge the Modrons with any crime. The missing persons file has now been closed.
#2 zombiegleemax Aug 03, 2004 0:47:36	:D
#3 zombiegleemax Aug 03, 2004 0:59:32
#4 Shemeska_the_Marauder Aug 03, 2004 1:55:37	Now all we need is a 'Cops' parody titled 'loths'
#5 mithral_icesilver_02 Aug 03, 2004 16:18:18	If you've seen the Cuisine of the Planes thread, nothing beats a cooking show hosted by a slaad and a Xaosman.
#6 dndgameupdate1 Sep 06, 2004 6:35:54	Good story!
#7 zombiegleemax Sep 06, 2004 11:29:07	Most extremely excellent. Do Modrons have Limbo contests?
#8 mithral_icesilver_02 Sep 06, 2004 12:23:27	A show hosted by a rogue modron, a grey slaad (or Xanxost), an Argentach rilmani, an Ursinal guardinal, an Arcanoloth (better yet, two: Shemeska AND A'kin), and a Prime (preferably a kender). This would probably be a better comedy than a cooking show. Especially since there are an awful lot of sharp objects in a cooking show. Prepare for disaster. Especially if they are stuck on a deserted island with all the modern living comforts except for a boat. And the surrounding ocean is patrolled by dire sharks.
#9 jasperdm Sep 06, 2004 12:25:12	Most extremely excellent. Do Modrons have Limbo contests? They did. Once. The monodrones all tied for first, and they gave up.
#10 zombiegleemax Sep 06, 2004 14:38:21	A cooking show hosted by a rogue modron, a grey slaad (or Xanxost), an Argentach rilmani, an Ursinal guardinal, an Arcanoloth (better yet, two: Shemeska AND A'kin), and a Prime (preferably a kender). Damage resistance would be a problem. You'd have to have several sets of kitchen utensils around: adamantine cleavers, holy boning knives, cold iron bread knives, et cetera...
#11 mithral_icesilver_02 Sep 12, 2004 19:37:41	That's why they need to be on a deserted island instead. There's no such thing as a cold iron coconut.
#12 zombiegleemax Sep 14, 2004 12:19:35	I had a couple of modrons pull a stand-up comedy routine in my Planescape PBMB game. They were called the Modron Brothers (Brother 01 & Brother 02), working out of Chirper's, an inn in Sigil (they were listed on the schedule for the theater there). Here's the routine they used: Brother 01: "Hello Brother zero-two!" Brother 02: "Greetings Brother zero-one!" Brother 01: "I just flew in from the Plane of Air...and boy are my aerial appendages tired!!" ba-dump! Pshh! Some of the crowd chuckles, but otherwise remain attentive. Brother 02: "Brother zero-one, I ran into a Xaositect the other day." Brother 01: "What did he say, Brother zero-two?" Brother 02: "He said I have to loosen up. I did what he said, but my arm extremities fell off!" ba-dump! Pshh! The audience chuckles with a bit more enthusiasm, more at the idea of seeing a couple modrons taking the roll of comedians. Brother 01: "Why did the Xaosman cross the road, Brother zero-two?" Brother 02: "I don't know, Brother zero-one. Why did the Xaosman cross the road?" Brother 01: "Who knows?" ba-dump! Pshh! They both shrug to each other at the answer to the joke. The audience gleefully chuckles. One member nudging his companion and whicspering, "It's true ya know!" "Aye, aye!" The other replies. Brother 02: "Hey Brother zero-one. I ran into a petitioner of the lower plane of Baator the other day." Brother 01: "What did he say, Brother zero-two?" Brother 02: "He said, 'Take my life, please!!'" Ba-dump! Pshh! Bouts of laughter spout from the audience. Some high and piercing, others low and throaty growls. Squeaks and squawks...cackles and clicks. Someone shouts, " Aye! Those poor sods!!" and laughs ludly. Brother 01: "Hey Brother zero-two, I was communicating with a man on Pandemonium last week." Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Brother 01: "What?" Brother 02: "What did he say, Brother zero-one?" Ba-dump! Pshh! Through the long joke the laughs finally start pouring in as the meaning is grasped. Brother 02: "Hey Brother zero-one. What do you call a Wraithworm in Sigil?" Brother 01: "I am not sure, Brother zero-two. What do you call a Wraithworm in Sigil?" Brother 02: "A Ringworm!"Ba-dump! Pshh! Was fun.
#13 zombiegleemax Sep 14, 2004 16:34:58	Thankyou Mr. Richardson!
#14 zombiegleemax Sep 14, 2004 20:26:57	I had a couple of modrons pull a stand-up comedy routine in my Planescape PBMB game. They were called the Modron Brothers (Brother 01 & Brother 02), working out of Chirper's, an inn in Sigil (they were listed on the schedule for the theater there). I don't suppose that they did that old "Who's from Curst? What's a Secundus?" routine, did they?
#15 zombiegleemax Sep 14, 2004 20:29:09	Lol, don't bring up that Who's on First routine, it's been killed. No matter WHAT form it's in.
#16 nedlum Sep 14, 2004 22:14:19	As a side note, I think that the lawful plane-touched race (whose name I forget) would probably have a nasty habit of overtelling jokes, like Marlin in Finding Nemo. On the other hand, creatures of chaos would tell completly nonsenscial jokes, fiends would favor sick humor, and... Not sure on the celestials.
#17 zombiegleemax Sep 14, 2004 22:46:00	ITs called a Zenythri, one of the PC's in a game I DM plays one.
#18 sildatorak Sep 15, 2004 2:30:30	On the other hand, creatures of chaos would tell completly nonsenscial jokes, fiends would favor sick humor, and... Not sure on the celestials. A good joke on the Abyss goes along the lines of Tanar'ri: Why did the chicken cross the road? Petitioner: I don't know why did the…Oh god! You've stabbed me right in the spleen! That hurts! Why are you twisting that! etc, etc, etc Tanar'ri: To get to the other side.
#19 zombiegleemax Sep 15, 2004 6:24:50	A good joke on the Abyss goes along the lines of Tanar'ri: Why did the chicken cross the road? Petitioner: I don't know why did the…Oh god! You've stabbed me right in the spleen! That hurts! Why are you twisting that! etc, etc, etc Tanar'ri: To get to the other side.
#20 gray_richardson Sep 15, 2004 7:34:19	Thanks! Now I have sprayed my morning coffee all over my keyboard from laughing so hard! :heehee
#21 zombiegleemax Sep 15, 2004 10:22:50