Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 zombiegleemax Feb 13, 2006 13:48:46	In another forum, people got all upset about this four year campaign I've been involved with in Dragonlance because we're out there killing off every kender we see. We've wiped out eleven kender settlements and found creative and useful ways to both humiliate and kill kender. My favorite is the Pied Piper method, but that's for another time. Me and my group can't be the only ones who despise kender and wish to eradicate them from Krynn for all time. I mean, they're the worst player-race ever conceived, generally used by players to rob from other party members and make them like it through some bizarre cultural quirk. So, to prevent others in our circles from conceivably playing kender, we're on a quest to exterminate the whole thievin' lot of them. I know you're out there, so weigh in! To start out this thread let me suggest a few ways to kill kender: Feed them to your Nightmare. Place one in a bag, and watch your ogre smash the bag against a boulder. Convince the kender that we can't trust him, so we have to tie him up to a tree to prevent him from stealing. After he's good and tied down, smile broadly, show him your dagger, then perform a coup-de-grace. Great fun.
#2 iltharanos Feb 13, 2006 13:57:28	Here ya go: 1) Use the Device of Time Journeying to travel back in time to just before the point where the Greygem mutated gnomes into the first kender and: a) Destroy the Greygem (incidentally wiping out dwarves as well) b) Wait until the first kender are created then drop suitable mountain atop them all 2) Open a rift in space/time to an alternate Krynn where kender have already been wiped out :D
#3 zombiegleemax Feb 20, 2006 18:55:24	I did this as an ogre hexblade: 1) Take a several pouches, cover them in gems, and stick blast disks (from Heroes of Battle) inside them. 2) Set the disks to explode ten minutes after kender touch them. 3) Announce to the world wondrous, shiny treasure is in the pouch. 4) Watch the kender horde flow in, and let them each take one pouch. 5) Use ogre strength to fling all kender with a pouch far away.
#4 cat_god Feb 20, 2006 19:46:02	Why is there such hostility towards kender? Is it because they're annoying? Is it because they'll steal all your items in the middle of the dungeon, while you're fighting? Is it because they'll take your quest items just as you're going to give it to the king, who threatened to kill you if you went back before you had it? Oh. Never mind.
#5 gamileo Feb 27, 2006 23:46:36	Oh, wait I got it! Take away the fun from the kender and make them depressed little buggers. That should solve the problem. Now you have just really upset short people! what? that's already been done? oh...
#6 zombiegleemax Mar 10, 2006 19:16:37	#7:My all time favorite P.C. started carrying a Bag of Devouring tucked into his belt, dropping shinny things into it after he "lost" crucial spell components at critical times....
#7 zombiegleemax Mar 15, 2006 19:04:58	Poor kender. I really rather like them. You don't use them to steal for gain. They just occassionally should end up with things in their pouches that have to be reclaimed occasionally. And I can't help but find the idea of a kender spellcaster as very amusing.
#8 zombiegleemax Mar 15, 2006 22:50:12	In our castle courtyard, we have a huge oak tree from which we hang kender from. We have hundreds just dangling from the oak's limbs, and it's always amusing to see the DM have to describe it (he wasn't all in favor of our campaign to eradicate the kender).
#9 zombiegleemax Mar 16, 2006 17:16:45	If I was your DM, I'd make a super kender to smack your party up.