As always - comments and feedback are welcome.
Enjoy.
Kir'ren
Medium Magical Beast (Psionic)
Hit Dice: 5d10+15 (42 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 40 ft (8 squares), climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (+5 Dex, +3 natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+12
Attack: Claw +10 melee (1d4+3)
Full Attack: 2 claws +10 melee (1d4+3) and bite +8 melee (1d6+1) and tail spike +8 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab, pounce, psi-like abilities, rake 1d4+1
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., glide, low-light vision, scent, unhindered movement
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +9, Will +2
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 21, Con 17, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Balance +20, Climb +19, Hide +10*, Jump +20, Listen +4, Move Silently +10, Spot +3
Feats: Multiattack, Up The Walls(B), Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm forests
Organization: Solitary or pair
Challenge Rating: 5
Advancement: 6–9 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: —
A smaller cousin to the kirre, this cat is distinguished by its six claw-tipped, bow-legged limbs and a long, jointed tail that sports a dagger-long spike. It’s spotted coat of fur blends in almost flawlessly with the tree limbs upon which it perches, patiently waiting for their prey. Stretched between the creatures six legs is a fold of skin that catches the air and allows then to make amazing leaps and glide for short distances.
These peerless hunters are distantly related to the kirre. This six-legged cat is spotted rather then striped like its cousin, and the kir’ren’s coloration ranges from light to dark green or browns with black spots. Intensely green eyes gaze out from beneath a thick brow ridge and the way the creature inspects its surroundings shows a calculation beyond that of a normal forest dweller. An adult kir’ren weights around 250 pounds and is about four to six feet in length, with its strangely jointed and spike-tipped tail adding almost half again that length. The flaps of skin between each limb are covered in the same color fur as the rest of the cat. These membranes catch the air under the kir’ren’s body when they leap from branch to branch, allowing them traverse the forest with great speed and to drop upon their prey while hunting.
Kir’ren of mate for life, and so those kir’ren of mating age are almost always found in pairs. A litter of kir’ren cubs normally number between four to seven, though some die due to falling from the kir’ren’s lofty dens, which are almost exclusively found high in trees or remote peaks, before they have learned to glide.
While they are sometimes hunted for their hides or meat, it is more often the case that the hunter becomes the hunted due to the kir’ren’s natural ability to sense danger.
Combat
Kir’ren will almost always attack from above, utilizing their chameleon psi-like ability and gliding to maneuver itself above a foe in order to leap upon it and to bring all six clawed legs, fangs, and tail-spike to bear. They will usually focus upon one foe until it is dead, then use its tail like a third hand, try to carry off its kill. As such, they will usually attack the smallest creature in a group first. If unable to flee, the kir’ren will attempt to use it’s ego whip upon it’s closest antagonizer to daze them and try to retreat to higher ground.
Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a kir’ren must hit with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, the kir’ren can establish a hold and can rake with its four hind limbs.
Pounce (Ex): If a kir’ren charges a foe (which includes dropping on them from above from a height of at least 10 ft.), it can make a full attack, including four rake attacks.
Psi-like Abilities (Ps): continuous – detect hostile intent; 3/day – chameleon (+10 to Hide checks), ego whip (DC 13 2d4 Cha damage [save for half], dazed for 1 round on failed save), thought shield (PR 17, 4 rounds). Manifester level 7. The save DCs are Charisma-based. *Includes augmentation for the kir’ren’s manifester level.
Rake (Ex): Attack bonus 4 claws +10 melee (+12 melee if charging or using it’s pounce ability), damage 1d4+1.
Glide (Ex): A kir’ren can use the folds of skin between its six legs to glide. Doing so negates any damage from a fall of any height and also allows them to travel horizontally up to four times the vertical distance descended.
Unhindered Movement (Ex): The kir’ren can move through terrain that would usually slow movement, such as over broken terrain, through areas occupied by allies, heavy underbrush, down from trees tops, or when making jumps. As such, kir’ren ignore all aspects of terrain that would hamper their movement except those of a magical or psionic nature.
Skills: Kir’ren have a +15 racial bonus on all Balance, Climb, and Jump checks and a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks. A kir’ren can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. *In areas of dense foliage, such as tree tops, tall grass, or heavy undergrowth, the Hide bonus improves to +8.
Feats: All kir’ren receive Up The Walls as a racial bonus feat and are always considered psionically focused when using it. These cats do not have to be on a horizontal surface at the end of their movement when using this feat, as long as they make the appropriate Climb check at the end of their movement. This check is a free action.
What would a post from me be without a crit or two, though? In which vein...
Why does the creature have Grapple +12? I make it +8 (BAB +5, Str +3). Where are the extra 4 points coming from? Is the idea that it gets a racial bonus for all those legs? It should maybe note that somewhere, eh?
I count the creature as having 2 skill points too many. As a 5HD magical beast with Int 6, it should have 8 skill points I break your totals down as follows:
Balance +20 (racial +15, Dex +5, 0 ranks), Climb +19 (racial +15, Str +3, 1 rank), Hide +10* (+4 racial, Dex +5, 1 rank), Jump +20 (+15 racial, Str +3, 2 ranks), Listen +4 (Wis +1, 3 ranks), Move Silently +10 (+4 racial, Dex +5, 1 rank), Spot +3 (Wis +1, 2 ranks)
Did you add Dex to Jump instead of adding Str? I've done that before myself - it would explain the extra 2 points.
I think that CR 5 is too high. I would put it at 3. It can deal out decent damage and has an offensive psionic power, but with AC 18 and only 42 hp, it wouldn't last very long at all against a party of 5th-level characters. It could easily do down in a single round. This is just ballpark, though, so playtest it and see how it flies, eh?
Advancement should be 5-10 HD, as the go in increments of double the base HD, so far as I recall.
The italicised description shouldn't name the creature, eh? It should be something that you might read to the players when they first see it. That aside, there's some nice flavorful description in there, dude
I'm not gonna rag on small issues of spelling and grammar, cuz, well, I think that would be lame after *****ing about 2 skill points, lol. Everything else is tight. The things I raise above aren't major issues, I reckon, and it's a fine creature with a great concept and a couple of original powers (like I say, the gliding wall-climbing thing is killer). Good job, man
.Cool idea - I particularly like the gliding and the Up the Walls feat idea. Should make for some interesting combats, eh?
What would a post from me be without a crit or two, though? In which vein...
Why does the creature have Grapple +12? I make it +8 (BAB +5, Str +3). Where are the extra 4 points coming from? Is the idea that it gets a racial bonus for all those legs? It should maybe note that somewhere, eh?
I count the creature as having 2 skill points too many. As a 5HD magical beast with Int 6, it should have 8 skill points I break your totals down as follows:
Balance +20 (racial +15, Dex +5, 0 ranks), Climb +19 (racial +15, Str +3, 1 rank), Hide +10* (+4 racial, Dex +5, 1 rank), Jump +20 (+15 racial, Str +3, 2 ranks), Listen +4 (Wis +1, 3 ranks), Move Silently +10 (+4 racial, Dex +5, 1 rank), Spot +3 (Wis +1, 2 ranks)
Did you add Dex to Jump instead of adding Str? I've done that before myself - it would explain the extra 2 points.
I think that CR 5 is too high. I would put it at 3. It can deal out decent damage and has an offensive psionic power, but with AC 18 and only 42 hp, it wouldn't last very long at all against a party of 5th-level characters. It could easily do down in a single round. This is just ballpark, though, so playtest it and see how it flies, eh?
Advancement should be 5-10 HD, as the go in increments of double the base HD, so far as I recall.
The italicised description shouldn't name the creature, eh? It should be something that you might read to the players when they first see it. That aside, there's some nice flavorful description in there, dude
I'm not gonna rag on small issues of spelling and grammar, cuz, well, I think that would be lame after *****ing about 2 skill points, lol. Everything else is tight. The things I raise above aren't major issues, I reckon, and it's a fine creature with a great concept and a couple of original powers (like I say, the gliding wall-climbing thing is killer). Good job, man
The additional +4 for grapple comes from their Improved Grab - I have always been working under the assumption that this ability was like improved grapple, which gives a +4 to grapple checks.
At first level, they always get at least 4 points IIRC - it could be off because i made some last minute changes one some things and do not recall if I went back through and recalced the skill stuff - I will look it iver again this weekend.
I do not think the for advancement it is a hard and fast rule that it is double the creatures base HD - I have read nothing that states that is is, so if you have the documentation I would like to read it.
As for naming the creature in the opening material - again - not a hard and fast rule - look at the tigone in the Terrors of Athas from Athas.org :P (just one example that i have found, but there are more).
As for grammer and spelling - hey if you think it could be better or if something is spelled wrong, let me know. I do use spellcheck and read over the stuff, but spellcheck is not 100% and I (and many others) have a hard time catching things in my own writing - so let me know what could be fixed - the worst that could happen is that I ignore you :D :P
The additional +4 for grapple comes from their Improved Grab - I have always been working under the assumption that this ability was like improved grapple, which gives a +4 to grapple checks.
Nah, man - it doesn't give the +4. Here's the text on improved grab in its entirety:
Improved Grab (Ex): If a creature with this special attack hits with a melee weapon (usually a claw or bite attack), it deals normal damage and attempts to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. No initial touch attack is required. Unless otherwise noted, improved grab works only against opponents at least one size category smaller than the creature. The creature has the option to conduct the grapple normally, or simply use the part of its body it used in the improved grab to hold the opponent. If it chooses to do the latter, it takes a –20 penalty on grapple checks, but is not considered grappled itself; the creature does not lose its Dexterity bonus to AC, still threatens an area, and can use its remaining attacks against other opponents. A successful hold does not deal any extra damage unless the creature also has the constrict special attack. If the creature does not constrict, each successful grapple check it makes during successive rounds automatically deals the damage indicated for the attack that established the hold. Otherwise, it deals constriction damage as well (the amount is given in the creature’s descriptive text). When a creature gets a hold after an improved grab attack, it pulls the opponent into its space. This act does not provoke attacks of opportunity. It can even move (possibly carrying away the opponent), provided it can drag the opponent’s weight.
At first level, they always get at least 4 points IIRC - it could be off because i made some last minute changes one some things and do not recall if I went back through and recalced the skill stuff - I will look it iver again this weekend.
Yeah, 4 points for the first HD and then one each for the next 4 HD, making 8.
I do not think the for advancement it is a hard and fast rule that it is double the creatures base HD - I have read nothing that states that is is, so if you have the documentation I would like to read it.
The precedence set by every creature with an advancement line is plenty documentation. Just look at the Monster Manuals - all of those creatures with advancement lines by HD use this method. If you can find me one that doesn't, I would like to read it ;).
Edit:Also, check out the Advancement section on p302 of the Monster Manual. It outlines the process there.
As for naming the creature in the opening material - again - not a hard and fast rule - look at the tigone in the Terrors of Athas from Athas.org :P (just one example that i have found, but there are more).
Again, look at all of the creatures in the Monster Manuals. They set the precedence for this. And I have no idea what you mean about the tigone. My copy of Terrors of Athas just says this:
This creature is a large feline with deep yellow eyes and a short, greenish hide. Large and sleek, it moves with the steady, padding gait of the predator.
Do you guys have some secret internal bizarro version that the rest of us aren't aware of?
:P
As for grammer and spelling - hey if you think it could be better or if something is spelled wrong, let me know. I do use spellcheck and read over the stuff, but spellcheck is not 100% and I (and many others) have a hard time catching things in my own writing - so let me know what could be fixed - the worst that could happen is that I ignore you :D :P
Lol, OK. I am going out for a few hours in a bit, but I'll do a sweep later on. There's no better way I like to spend my Friday nights than checking spelling and grammar. Party on Wayne...
Again, look at all of the creatures in the Monster Manuals. They set the precedence for this. And I have no idea what you mean about the tigone. My copy of Terrors of Athas just says this:
This creature is a large feline with deep yellow eyes and a short, greenish hide. Large and sleek, it moves with the steady, padding gait of the predator.
Do you guys have some secret internal bizarro version that the rest of us aren't aware of?
:P
That was from the current version that I had just looked at from the Athas.org site - downloaded it just to look this issue up.
As for having a secret internal version - are you under the assumption that I am part of Athas.org - because I am not and do not have access to their super-secret squirrel-top shelf-classified documents. I am but a lowly fan, creating material for the general public and doing what I can to make my mark on Athas.
As for the fixes - all are easy to change - if I want to that is :P.
I will look over it all again later - I have a new Eberron game starting tonight and have just a little bit of prep work to do or I would do the research tonight.
One thing I thought about doing, but did not put much time into developing more aside from a small reference, was the use of the kir'ren's tail as an grasping tool or something - like holding branches or aiding it climbing by stabbing the spike into the tree as an anchor.
If I were to go that route, maybe I would also make the tail longer and give it a reach of 10 ft.
Thoughts on that?
The only critique I'd make (other than the grammar stuff that I sent you by email) is that I think that the glide ability would be more believable in a small 3hd version.
As for a 3HD version - Like I said in my e-mail Brax, I just feel it would lose something being small. In my mind, I just do not feel that it would still have the same "danger" factor to it that would inspire the same fear/desire hunters would have when looking for these creatures if it were small.
Originally I had it with the psi-like ability to use psionic levitate at will as a free or immediate action - but felt like that was a cheap cop-out and so I dropped it.
That was from the current version that I had just looked at from the Athas.org site - downloaded it just to look this issue up.
Not sure if you're agreeing with me here or not (just had a few beers, heh heh). But the version at Athas.org matches the text I quoted - no reference to the tigone by name in the italicized text.
As for having a secret internal version - are you under the assumption that I am part of Athas.org - because I am not and do not have access to their super-secret squirrel-top shelf-classified documents. I am but a lowly fan, creating material for the general public and doing what I can to make my mark on Athas.
Yah, I had thought that you were doing their new prestige class document or something. Oh well, my bad, eh?
As for the fixes - all are easy to change - if I want to that is :P.
Totally. Dude, they're minor changes. Like TheBrax says, it's a killer concept and I really like the creature. I'll be throwing two or three or four of these at my players next time we play DS for sure.
One thing I thought about doing, but did not put much time into developing more aside from a small reference, was the use of the kir'ren's tail as an grasping tool or something - like holding branches or aiding it climbing by stabbing the spike into the tree as an anchor.
If I were to go that route, maybe I would also make the tail longer and give it a reach of 10 ft.
Thoughts on that?
Hmm, that could work I guess, but I'd also say to leave it as it is. You've nailed a really solid creature here, Kal.
If I were they would have to make a new Bureau called the Bureau of Total Awesomeness cuz that is how I roll :D
Maybe I was hitting the crack to hard or just reading what I wanted, but I cannot find the reference again with the name things in it - oh well - I have already fixed the kir'ren and got a jump on the grammar and writing stuff - I think it is 100% right now and very readable.
I could totally see some rich noble having like 2 or 3 of these as "guardcats" - it would be totally awesome! With scent and detect hostile intent on full-auto mode, there is not much that is going to sneak up on these creatures.
If a druid or ranger were to be able to select this creature for an animal companion (but I do not think they could unless they had like some kind of improved animal companion feat or class feature) it would add to the wicked sickness of having to deal with a creature like this.
I am glad people like this - like I said, there will be a PrC coming soon that draws its inspiration from these creatures so hopefully it will draw the same kind of reactions.