Post/Author/DateTime	Post
#1 Tintagel Mar 03, 2007 8:24:30	Bar Called the Crystal Club Sung to the tune of House of the Rising Sun - with apologies to The Animals. There is a bar in Kartakas They call the Crystal Club And it’s been the ruin of many a PC By Strahd, I know I’m one My mother was a singer They called her Sonia My Father was the mayor of the town Called Harmonia Now the only thing a hero needs Is a maiden and a drink But the wenches here will eat a man alive Before he even blinks –organ solo– Oh DMs tell your players Not to do what we have done Die or catch lycanthropy At the bar called the Crystal Club Well I spend some nights a’ howlin And I kill for pleasure now I hide the blood on my guilty lips with a drink called Meekulbrau There is a bar in Kartakas They call the Crystal Club And it’s been the ruin of many a PC By Strahd, I know I’m one House of the Rising Sun There is a house in New Orleans They call the Rising Sun And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy And God I know I'm one My mother was a tailor She sewed my new bluejeans My father was a gamblin' man Down in New Orleans Now the only thing a gambler needs Is a suitcase and trunk And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk ------ organ solo ------ Oh mother tell your children Not to do what I have done Spend your lives in sin and misery In the House of the Rising Sun Well, I got one foot on the platform The other foot on the train I'm goin' back to New Orleans To wear that ball and chain Well, there is a house in New Orleans They call the Rising Sun And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy And God I know I'm one
#2 humanbing Mar 05, 2007 7:45:38	(A repost, but I thought it was worth it in the present circumstance. This song came first in the duel of the strings, an annual event held at the Fiddler's Finger pub in Martira Bay, by Ardellia Borlest.) Borlest: [taps mic] Good evening, ladies and gentlement. In Nartok, the bards sing this haunting ballad. It deals with such brutal, dictatorial people as Vlad Drakov, Azalin Rex, Ivan Dilisnya, Viktor Mordenheim, and Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. I present to you... The Demiplane of Terror (sung to the tune of Hotel California) In a massacred village On a [Trademarked Home World](TM) It was a night of cool executions, And the taking of girls. Then up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering mist My sight grew blurry and my compass flailed, I had no means to resist. There we were in a second, Surrounded by the undead: Their empty eyes watched our every move With their pinpoints of red. Then they leapt on my soldiers, To rend their flesh to the bone. As I pondered my "tactical retreat", I thought I heard them groan. "Welcome to the Demiplane of Terror! When you're done fighting, (When you're done fighting) We think you'll fit right in. (We think you'll fit right in) A place for you, in the Demiplane of Terror: Such a nice domain (Such a nice domain) For your war campaigns..." His name was Firan Zal'honan, He's got the secret police. He's got a lot of campy vampy stiffs To keep what passes for peace. And people flock to his kingdom, The Core's largest yet. Some will go and grow wealthy, But most will go - and Forget. They call him Dilisnya. He's the one with the wine. I swear, his vintage will open up your eyes... For the very last time. You'll hear those party guests shrieking from miles around, You'll stick some peasants on your bedroom stakes, To drown their revels out. (I said) "Loving your screams in the Demiplane of Terror! Live your fantasies (Live your fantasies) Do just what you please. (Do just what you please) Tenancy's free in the Demiplane of Terror! There's no maintenance tax, (There's no maintenance tax) But watch those Powers checks..." Lightning rods on the ceiling Quivering brains on ice. And he said "Here's a Nietzschean übermensch: All virtue - and virtually no vice." Then as the Doc pulled the lever His child was released. And you can strike with injuring intent, But you can't subdue the Beast. About this time last November, We invaded again. Our armies fell like chestnut shells In the latest Dead Man's Campaign. "Relax," the voice told me, "We are programmed to deceive. Keep on striving for your dearest dreams And we're pretty sure you'll succeed!" "No reprieve in the Demiplane of Terror, A peculiar land, (A peculiar land) I don't understand. (I don't understand) Just one way to leave the Demiplane of Terror: If Weis and Hickman retcon, You'll be free to abscond!"
#3 johannixx Mar 13, 2007 2:23:14	A D&D version of "Turn the Page": On a long and lonesome highway East of Kartakas You can listen to the wind as it moans out its one-note song You think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before But your thoughts will soon be wanderin' The way they always do When you're ridin' sixteen hours and there's nothing much to do And you don't feel much like ridin', you just wish the trip was through. Aw, here I am One the road again There I am Earning XP, There I go Adventuring again There I go, D&D So you walk into a smoky inn All strung out from the road And you feel the eyes upon you as your hat leaks like a seive You pretend it doesn't bother you, but you just want to roll initiative! Yeah most times you can't hear 'em talk Because Listen Isn't on your class skill list; you're not a barbarian And the rogues will just all flank you, sneak attack you where you stand Aw, here I am One the road again There I am Earning XP, There I go Adventuring again There I go, D&D Out there on the battlefield You're a million miles away Every ounce of energy, You try and give away As the sweat drips from your body Like the blood of those you slay Later in the evening As you lie awake in camp With the echos of the sounds of battle and the flickering oil lamps You smoke the day's last pipefull, feeling cold and damp Aw, here I am One the road again There I am Earning XP, There I go Adventuring again There I go, D&D
#4 sptjanly Mar 17, 2007 8:30:10	Amazing