"I hear that Asmodeus was once a celestial of great power who commited an unspeakable crime and was thrown from Mt. Celestia."
"Really? Well I heard that at one time he was a Solar who aspired to godhood."
"Ah, that's nothing I heard that there's this mage see who's trying to slip the Cage onto the Spire. Like a ring on a finger and when he does a whole 'nother Univers will open up."
This thread is excatly what it's name implies wild rumors. It's mainly for fun but if you find anything at all useful feel free to use.
So what's your rumor?
"All that garbage about her never leaving her mansion in The Lady's Ward because of her fear of some power sHE angered years ago is simply screed spread by the titan himself."
"The real dark of the matter is that Zadara is in hiding from the titans of mount Othrys in Carceri, having somehow escaped their eternal imprisonment at the hands of the Olympian powers."
"And so in Sigil, hiding from the Olympians and their proxies and servants, Zadara simply choose to change his identity to that of a woman and create a new identity for himself in order to prevent any of his enemies from discovering who he really was."
"Makes a certain amount of logic now doesn't it? Never seen outside his mansion, well muscled, shy about his appearance. Can't stand to be compared to myself for fear of the constrast between my own feminine beauty and his own sham being enough to make even random berks on the street begin to suspect something amiss..."
"After all, he doesn't exactly cut a fetching figure in that so called dress of his. I await the day he forgets to shave one morning before going out in public on those rare occasions he does. Ha! Wouldn't that be something to see now wouldn't it?"
:D "I challange 'her' to appear in public and refute these claims, see if they stand up to the light of day. And I might just happen to be accompanied by a proxy or two of an olympian power, or servant of old Cronus or Hyperion when I myself make an appearance."
And she *likes* it!
After all - what better way to conceal their love affair than to pretend to open hatred of each other. And what better way to keep the King of the Crossroads from appearing weak and subservient, than to have him play the meek and eager one, while she plays the rampaging dominant. After all - it wouldn't do for the secret to get out, so they reverse the roles.
Why do you think she has that mirror carried around all the time? She doesn't want A'kin's 'love bites' amongst other signs of his 'affections' becoming unconcealed. So she constantly checks."
"Some other, more repressed chant suggests that the Lord of the First does other things when he gets drunk...foremost among these being streaking across the plains of Avernus. Many's a berk who's claimed to see the Lord Bel in all his natural glory running freely across the first layer.
"To take a turn to a different plane, a barmy Sensate I know told me that he drank from the Styx way back near its source (I don't know how this addle-cove found the source of the Styx -- he doesn't even have a sensory stone about it) near where Pandemonium meets Limbo and said the water there's better than the Oceanus. Complete screed if you ask me.
"Now, there's a bit of chant about a barmy group of psionic bashers who have this thing for nature. Y'see, these berks have staked out a camp on the Beastlands and have started trying to temporarily transform their minds into the minds of the animals around 'em. Thing is, last anyone ever saw of them, half of them were hunting the other half, thinking they were predators of some sort. I hear they never got their own brains back."
"My next bit o' dark comes all the way from the Realm of Jubilex. Seems ol' Jubie, Lord of the Ooze, has learned a new trick. By placing his ooze minions into vats and then coolin' 'em down with some Cones of Cold he can mold 'em into man shaped things. These 'Jigglers' as they could be called, can walk and move just like a normal humanoid, but when they get heated they melt right back to normal. Jubie wants to perfect the technique so that he can transform his shape and finally gain the respect if the other Demon Lords. It'll be a cold day in Baator 'fore that happens though."
Originally posted by Clueless
"The reason A'kin can be so cheerful all the time to the people in his shop is simple. He doesn't go rushing back through some portal in his shop every night to torment a petitioner to get it out of his system. Scream into a pillow behind his desk. Or throw himself against walls in his bedchambers... he throws Shemeska the Marauder against walls in his bedchambers.
And she *likes* it!
After all - what better way to conceal their love affair than to pretend to open hatred of each other. And what better way to keep the King of the Crossroads from appearing weak and subservient, than to have him play the meek and eager one, while she plays the rampaging dominant. After all - it wouldn't do for the secret to get out, so they reverse the roles.
Why do you think she has that mirror carried around all the time? She doesn't want A'kin's 'love bites' amongst other signs of his 'affections' becoming unconcealed. So she constantly checks."
*looks ready to explode* :headexplo
"GAAAHHHH!!!!!"
*has to be restrained in public by her flunkies*
"Why you...!!!!"
*Colcook the tiefling drops his mirror and clamps a hand over The Marauder's mouth after the first few syllables of a meteor swarm are hissed*
*muffled snarls and clawing at the air*
*The Arcanaloth's eyes burn with flickers of pale violet flame as she is restrained for her own good momentarily, allowing the 'clueless' berk time to escape for now*
*scoots around a corner and disappears*
Many's a berk who's claimed to see the Lord Bel in all his natural glory running freely across the first layer.
Do any baatezu (besides amnizu) wear clothes anyway? Unless those are really just scaley suits. Maybe they're really fuzzy inside. Hmm... this oughta go to the "Utter Screed" column.
*The Arcanaloth's eyes burn with flickers of pale violet flame as she is restrained for her own good momentarily, allowing the 'clueless' berk time to escape for now*
Aww. Shemeska's just mad that the secret's out.
"It's NOT A HAT! Call it a tiara or a headdress. It is not a hat!"
"And horrible attire? Hmph! I'm the envy of every woman in Sigil, and the desire of most of the males. So don't presume to lecture me on fashion or hats or appearance."
"And you know, speaking of hats, here's a little bit of dark I was told the other evening by a gentleman caller as I was dining in my private room at the Fortunes Wheel."
"Seamusxanthuszenus, the so called 'slayer of fiends, merchant most excellent, and purveyor of death' aka 'that mephit with the hat, might perhaps according to this source be better known as 'that hat with the mephit'."
"See, while Seamus etc is most certainly a dust mephit, as drab, morose and well, annoying as they come, his ubiquitous hat is anything but what it appears to be."
"His gray and purple striped hat is actually a sentient, shapeshifting psionic parasite that much like some dispossessed illithid feeds itself on the mephit's fickle emotions, tantrums and mood swings."
"It also seems to feed on the brains of the corpses for sale in the mephit's shop, as well as on those of a few rare customers"
"I hear from Adamok Ebon, the bladeling who does little tasks for me every so often, and who also supplies most of the bodies for the mephit's shop 'Parts and Pieces', that very rarely if ever are there any brains for sale in the shop."
"Odd isn't it? Just perhaps true. Though the only real way to find out is to actually visit that stupid dust mephit in his shop, and its not a chore I'd wish on many. Well actually I'd wish it on that 'other' Arcanaloth in Sigil, and maybe that equally stupid crossdressing titan in The Lady's Ward (see my previous rumor about 'her' gender)."
I await the day he forgets to shave one morning before going out in public on those rare occasions he does. Ha! Wouldn't that be something to see now wouldn't it?"
Forgetting to shave has never stopped you from being the envy of every Sigilian Socialite and golden lady at Fortune's Wheel. In fact I'm sure they're all just lined up at The Other Place to receive hair growth treatments. Ah the joy's of Beautefiling oneself for status in yet another example of the still ongoing kreigstanz.
Originally posted by primemover003
Forgetting to shave has never stopped you from being the envy of every Sigilian Socialite and golden lady at Fortune's Wheel. In fact I'm sure they're all just lined up at The Other Place to receive hair growth treatments.
I heard that someone once applied sovereign glue to primemover's lips and that Shemeska was missing a small patch of hair from her backside for several weeks. :D
Smooching the backside of a fiend, especially such a rapaciously conniving fiend such as Shemeska is not in my nature, or job description. Observation, Acquisition, and Elimination of that which disturbs the Status Quo is my job. Of course I could be lying. I've always fancied myself a Minister of Misinformation. But I think my Guardian superiors would look down on such tactics. so I just pass the time by enjoying verbal duels and mental judo.
"See, the chant is that Fell's not really a fallen dabus at all. Nor does he really worship Aoskar. No, no. Fell's special.
"A special type of dabus that She created, Fell is conspiring with Her. He pretends to worship Aoskar and She gives him power that resembles clerical magic. Fell's really a spy dabus, one of a kind that She decided to test out on her citizens. It's Fell's job to smoke out Aoskar loyalists or anyone else who opposes Her, let their plans and plots stew for a while, then make them pay Her a hefty bit of music when they think they're in the clear.
"It's a barmy thought but why else would Fell be allowed to bang around the Cage?"
Why are the guards yelling for me to shut my screed spout before I get us all flayed? I'm safe in here in my little room...can't fit a Lady in here with me, not even a larval one.
Another theory about the Lady of Pain I heard just recently from a very reliable, if somewhat odiferous, mephit. He had escaped from his master on Baator and told me that he overheard a pair of amnizu discussing ejecting the Kytons from Baator. The scary bit is that they were talking about their leaders being too powerful (something that is tough for a 'Zu to admit) and being creatures covered in blades rather than chains. Have you ever wondered why the Lady wears voluminous robes? To hide her blade-covered body, of course! Did you really think she was just hiding her pudgy bum? Then again, maybe the mephit was just blowing smoke up my dress.
"So where are these bladed kytons now and how do you figure there have been more than one of Her?"
excellent..."I hear that ol' Ramander's really a dabus. S'why the berk hasn't been mazed or worse yet."
"Except if Ramander was a Dabus and thus protected from the wrath of The Lady, that would imply that it was something other than my own actions that provide protection to the Master of Portals."
*plays with a strand of razorvine*
"And we wouldn't want to suggest such things as that now would we. Especially when Ramander's portal dealings line my pockets better than a Tanar'ri brothel. And those aren't unprofitable!"
"And speaking of Tanar'ri brothels, I was told by a well informed succubus the other day that none other than the former indep and current Sigil advisory council member, Harrys Hatchis, is a frequent patron of the 'House of Infinite Portals'. If you know what I mean."
*nudge nudge wink, grin with fangs showing*
Remember kiddies, if you're going to go to a fiendish brothel, wear protection. Preferably full plate mail.
*whistles innocently*
*sifts through a number of softly glowing gems with a greedy look on face*
Once I overheard some barmy bleaker in a tavern. Apparently he'd wandered over to Suicide alley to, "wish away his troubles", when he caught sight of a Modron standing on the ledge. Watching the little cube jump the Bleaker ran over to investigate. He hadn't ever seen a cube right himself in the dead book. Anyway, a few seconds later the bleaker's knocked unconscious as the modron falls from the sky above him and hits him in the head. He never did figure out how that one worked.
*sneer* "Or so I've heard."
May'aps its time somebody sent the Harmonium to smack around some of those big honkin' noses. Worse harm that could do is to cut out some competition in the way of tinkerin' and alchemy... maybe make business a little easier for their competitors, at the same time.... Ahem..
"They... wouldn't... dare..."
*snarls*
"Holy -FUNGUS- ?!" *recoils*
"Besides crimping my style, just... uuuuggggg...."
*shudders*
Though if it ever comes to mycanoid paladins... those who take no action will only have themselves to blame.
PSILOFYR, Lesser Power, n/a, LN
Attributes: Community, Meditation, Myconids
Domains: Knowledge, Law, Plant
Symbol:
Typical Worshippers: Myconids
Raiment:
Preferred Weapon:
Holy Days:
Psilofyr, the benevolent myconid Power, is a meditator-patron dwelling in Nirvana. He is a teacher Power, one who taught the first myconids the secrets of potion-making through direct revelation. He is often depicted as a type of fungal world-tree, his mycelia reaching down through the planes into the home of the myconid-King. Psilofyr's only concerns are the protection of the myconid race and the pursuit of perfection through meditation.
Psilofyr selects about one myconid king in 20 to become a cleric, and always guides myconids in their selection of a new king through intuitive guidance. Psilofyr has no need of omens since he constantly shares thoughts with his kings.
Even the Lady makes exceptions... even Shameska does.... A mere deity is hardly above it.
Besides. If you think the celestials are -all- mammals... you've never been very far from the spire.
Once I overheard some barmy bleaker in a tavern. Apparently he'd wandered over to Suicide alley to, "wish away his troubles", when he caught sight of a Modron standing on the ledge. Watching the little cube jump the Bleaker ran over to investigate. He hadn't ever seen a cube right himself in the dead book. Anyway, a few seconds later the bleaker's knocked unconscious as the modron falls from the sky above him and hits him in the head. He never did figure out how that one worked
"funny you should mention modrons." A wirey mephit pops his head into the conversation. Those arround him cough in the thin cloud of dust that seems to shed right off his skin.
"See, there is some dark I would be willing to share. Mechanus is the place of perfect order, right? Every modron in there has his place, his tasks. Thats the way modrons are organised, aren't they? Or are they?"
"Modrons are actually less than exemplication of law. See, every modron is organised to best do the task he is selected to do, right? Specialization into one single task. The modron adapts. His movement, his actions, even his form, so that it best accomodates its function. And, with all those highly specialized modrons, each performing its own specific task, just immagine the multitude of shapes you would see. Now imagine a plane on the exact oposite end of the great ring. See any difference?"
"It's all screed. Law and Chaos aren't any more different than githzerai and githyanki. Just like the slaad force their spawn into certain shapes, so do the modron cull their own. And all to maintain the illusion. Who concoted this elaborate illusion you ask. And why? well, for a few coins I might consider rattling my bonebox some more."
A broad smile, streaching from one ear to the other on the mephit's face, showing the a hint of his greyish teeth. A theatrical gesture as he opens his hand, palm outstreached and ready to recieve cartloads of jink.