Picking up her lajav, Varlana dried her eyes, and then kiss the child’s forehead, whispering that she will be avenged and that she would see her shortly.
It was not hard to pick up the marauders’ trail, and soon she was off at full speed, tracking her prey, with vengeance in her heart, and a determination in her head.
Less than thirty minutes later, she saw signs off the distance of a camp. Using what her fellow sisters taught her, she silently stalked closer to the camp, listening intently on the commotion going on around it.
She heard them jest and brag, about how they had caught Sachla by surprise, pinned her down, raped her, then slit her throat and stole what little water and food she had, angered that she had no other possessions.
This is all that Varlana needed to hear, for what was heard next, was her murderous war cry as she jumped into the clearing of the camp and began her deadly assault.
There were six total, and she had caught them by surprise, by these guys were veterans, and she was still what the others called “green”, but nevertheless she was formidable opponent.
The first was the most surprised and was down with two slashes from Varlana’s lajav before he could ready his own weapons The others, however, were ready to meet her at this point.
One of them, apparently the leader, looked at Varlana and smiled and said in a gruff voice “Looks like we gots us nother one of those pale wimmin boys!”
The others smiled at this and prepared to tackle Varlana to the ground so that they could better make their ways with her. However, Varlana was not willing to go that easily.
Varlana leaped at the closest one and parried his attacks, and countered with her own, which were also parried. At this point she was getting a little worried that this was for nothing, because not only was this guy deflecting her attacks with great skill, but she was about to be flanked by one of the others, and she did not think she was good enough to take on both at the same time. Knowing this however only made her more angry, and she used that anger to work for her.
She immediately starting pressing hard on the current one she was fighting, her attacks came in hard and fast, and only got faster as they were parried away. Before he knew it, her target was doing nothing but defending himself, since he couldn’t parry Varlana’s attacks quick enough and make a counter attack without getting hit by the next attack she leveled at him.
At last, he parried wrong and she was able to disarm him while following up with a slash to the man’s throat. He fell to the ground gurgling, and not too sooner, for the others were coming to meet her.
She had already used her anger to hasten herself in battle, but she was going to need more. She quickly concentrated and fueled the power within her to give her the agility of a tigone, just like the other sisters had taught her while she was in training.
The other three men rushed upon her as the leader sat back and watched amused. She dodged and parried most of their attacks, but one had hit its mark and caused a good gash across her right arm. Varlana had a hard time countering since her right arm was her weapon arm and the cut skewed with the balance and harmony she had with the weapon some. Never the less, she was able to show her worth.
She concentrated solely on attacking the one that had got through her defenses, while defending against the rest. He was a good match, but she was getting the better of him. She kept thundering away at him with strike after strike, while he defended and countered once in awhile and dodged the others’ blows as best as she could. After several seconds, however, her lajav hit home.
He had missed parrying one of her attacks, which gave him a shallow slash across the chest, and seeing she found an opening, she didn’t stop there. She followed trough with slash after slash, some he parried, others he did not. By the time she was done with him he fell to the ground in a lifeless heap, slashed this way and that.
She then whirled on the one to her right and split his bone sword in two when he attempted to parry her, taking a slash from crown to groin, before falling lifeless to the ground as well.
By this time the leader was no longer amused and was entering into the melee, while the one remaining fighting Varlana decided to turn tail and run, but not before she hamstringed him and then followed with a slash across the back of his throat, killing him.
The leader came in, metal long sword drawn, and threw a two-handed slash leveled at Varlana’s chest, but she parried with her lajav, but then just as quickly as that lost it as it broke in two.
Varlana quickly dodged for the bone long sword of the one she killed last and sliced at the leaders muscular calves, giving them little more than a paper cut.
The leader roared, and pressed hard on Varlana while she was semi-prone. His hits came in hard and steady. Varlana’s arms ached with each parry, especially her wounded right, until final the leader found an opening and sliced Varlana from her left arm to across her chest.
She screamed and fell face first into the ground, still clutching the bone long sword of one of her enemies. The leader of the marauders hauled her up to her feet while holding her across her shoulders from behind. He then put his sword to her throat while muttering “I’m going to really enjoy haring you scream, now, you can either drop the sword and live, or keep it and die, either way you will know pain like no other before I let you go or slay you.
Varlana’s only gasping response, through clenched teeth was “Vengeance!” as she took the sword in her hands and stabbed herself in her own heart, making sure she used enough thrust to make it go all the way through and out the other side of her and into her attacker’s heart.
They both stood there for an instance before releasing their last breath and falling to the ground in a lifeless heap, together.
Might want to change the following paragraph:
There were six total, and she had caught them by surprise, by these guys were veterans, and she was still what the others called “green”, but nevertheless she was formidable opponent.
Maybe "these guys were veterans" to something more like, "these brutes had seen many sunrises," or maybe "Six figures stood in the clearing, sharpening bone weapons as they discussed their latest conquest."
I guess suggest that they are seasoned or vets without actually coming out and flat-out saying it.
I take it this is a lead-in story?
Originally posted by Dawnstealer
Pretty good, my friend.
Thanks!
This is for your villichi work, right?
Correct, been working on an outline more of what I want to do and wrote this last night.
One suggestion, though:
Tear it apart, I know I'm not the best writer. :D
Damn that paragraph had alot of typos.
Maybe "these guys were veterans" to something more like, "these brutes had seen many sunrises," or maybe "Six figures stood in the clearing, sharpening bone weapons as they discussed their latest conquest."
I guess suggest that they are seasoned or vets without actually coming out and flat-out saying it.
I'll work on that, thanks.
I take it this is a lead-in story?
Lead in to one of the sections yes.
Silent Stalkers is a lead in to the accessory itself.
Thanks for the input.
Originally posted by Dawnstealer
If you want, we could do this via e-mail: I used to edit.
I lost your email address.
Shoot me an email at nightcrawler[at]crimsonsun[dot]org
On the bright side, that is how Troy Denning writes. On the bad side, I generally skip to the end of the fights in Denning's novels.
Originally posted by CaffeineGenasi
Is the whole story going to be a play by play of exactly where everyone got slashed and how?
On the bright side, that is how Troy Denning writes. On the bad side, I generally skip to the end of the fights in Denning's novels.
No, even though that tends to be following the pattern at this point.
Got a few other things in mind that have no fight scenes in them at all.
R.A. Salvatore does the same thing, and I agree, it gets borring after awhile.