General: Most of my previous general comments still apply.
Break up the multicreature stat blocks. A creatures stats should be on the same page as its description.
There are several cases where you put a creature’s character section into its combat section in place of a proper write-up.
Should some creatures’ spell-like abilities be psionics, instead?
I’ve mentioned this before in regards to burst – there is very little difference between being able to use the power natural armor at will, and just having a higher natural armor bonus.
Obsidian Retriever: half damage versus slashing should be DR 5 or 10/bludgeoning or piercing.
Pakubrazi: Shouldn’t the pakubrazi loses its Dex when attached?
Tainted seems like a perfect acquired template.
Paraelemental Beast: Does the ‘extended stay’ rules apply to elemental beast as well?
Replace ‘parent element’ with the appropriate name. Also, since all magma and sun effects are fire effects by default, doesn’t the fire subtype grant immunity to them?
They should gain fast heal, not regeneration.
Radii based on hit points: how do these work in squares?
+Magma: Remove reference to lower planes in the description.
Weapon bane: Only magic weapons can make saving throws.
+Rain: Drain Water: refers to Con drain, should be damage; it gains ‘temporary’ hit points.
Rain Blast: cut ‘…and water damage’.
+Sun: How exactly does this beast seek a Huge amount of sunlight?
Pit Snatcher: Should have 5’ reach, and in the description should say it can only reach (those) five feet out of its pit.
Why a racial bonus on grapple, rather than the Improved Grapple feat?
Plant: Why do some of them get such large bonuses to grapple checks? (If you insist on these, they should be -racial- bonuses.)
+Blossomkiller: The description implies that this creature is more than Large.
Its poison seems ineffectual, given that the 1 minute delay on paralysis.
+Poisonweed: cold immunity: Why not just give it the cold subtype?
Poison should be ‘inhaled’.
Psi-Shadow: should be an outsider, not a magical beast.
When it changes shape, is it still incorporeal?
How does the chameleon power help a shadow?
Psionicus: should the requirement for Craft Universal Item be Craft Construct instead?
Raakle: What’s the mechanical difference between using its acid on person who is grappled vs. one who isn’t?
Razorwing: standard Attack line should include wing attack for aerial fights. Full attack should list additional wing attacks when fighting larger creatures.
Reggelid: Magic lore should read: “…This means that the caster level of the spell…”
Since they don’t advance by HD, why not just say they cast as 3rd level defilers?
Society: para 2, line 4, extra ‘the’; also, what’s a ‘by-blow’?
Sandbride: It’s the negative energy plane, not material. Actually, should this be changed to the Black?
Water vulnerability: Do they take 1d6 damage regardless of amount, or per gallon?
I’d be more specific on how Destroy Water works.
Sand Howler: Gaze: what’s the DC based on?
What configuration are its eyes on its face?
Sandworm: Given that its meat is “easy to dry into jerky” the mark-up from 1 cp fresh to 40 cp dry seems steep.
Scrab: Is it’s burrow speed 10’ or 20’?
Nest mother: for some reason she has the stats for a sand mother.
Seed, Brain: Why not just list this as Brain Seed?
At what range can the brain seed affect its marks with life drain and other powers?
There should be rules for removing an implanted seed.
Sharg: Organization: Solitary (unique).
Light sensitivity: reword so it becomes panicked for X rounds.
Silt Horror: tentacles should have DR 5/bludgeoning, not blunt.
Speeds in yards should be converted to feet.
+Black: poison: It doesn’t seem right that a character should be paralyzed for a few rounds, snap out of it, and then a few rounds later, be paralyzed again.
+Grey: Combat: the second sentence makes no sense.
What’s with the Wisdom vs. Perform roll? It’s got no perform skill.
Tremorsense: can it pinpoint at three miles?
+Magma: Stat block doesn’t list the fire subtype. Also, the old wording for fire subtype is used in the description.
+Red: What is the effect of ‘cough’ing?
Is its land speed 15’ or 20’?
Silt Runner: Stat block should list LA: +0
Silt Serpent: What are its psionic powers?
Silt Spawn: Spawn Heritage: Should the samples be a focus rather than a material componet?
Silt Weird: Given the new elemental weirds, perhaps a name change is in order?
Should be an elemental, not a magical beast.
Control Earth Elementals: range should be in feet, and the creature should be able to control a *total* equal to twice its HD.
Half damage vs. fire should be Fire Resistance X.
Weapon immunity: I’d prefer straight DR. Say DR 5/-. (No need to make everything exactly the same as 2e.)
Sink Worm: Interior AC should be 13.
Spider, Mountain: para 2, line 3, word 6 should be ‘of’
I like these, they deserve a society section.
Spider, Crystal: Can elementals lay eggs?
Spider, Dark: Why Always Neutral?
Squark: Organization: Solitary (unique)
Rule of thumb: when describing a horrible beast of destruction, avoid using the word ‘rump’. (It’s bad enough it’s called a squark.)
Styr: It’d DR should be 15/magic.
Sync its all-round vision benefits with other such creatures. (I don’t think anything is immune to surprise.)
T’chowb: How often can it use its psionic powers?
Tarek: I think you mean to say their language is –fearsome- in tone, not fearful.
Tari: Monstrous humanoids don’t get subtypes like plain humanoids.
Disease: They don’t lose Con ‘temporarily’, they take temporary Con damage. Also, in the second to last sentence, ‘false’ should be in parentheses.
Society: last sentence – What venom glands?
Tembo: Why not an aberration?
Thrax: Why increase HD size (especially class ones)? Giving +2 Con has virtually the same effect.
Water Drain: ‘…permanent Constitution drain…’ not damage.
Trin: Leap: jumping distance is not longer limited by height.
Why does it have two favored classes? It should have one or none (I prefer the latter).
Tul’k: S/R 10/10, it is large (tall), yes?
Stunning: DC based on what?
Tyrian Slime: damage entry should specify acid.
Villichi: Description: last para, 1st sentence, extra ‘any’
Wall Walker: Since stinger is its preferred first strike, it should be listed in the standard attack line. Like the black silt horror, this has issues with intermittent paralysis.
Xerichou: These should be Tiny according to the description (also, the size of advanced versions needs fixing anyway.)
I don’t like the flocking ability, but I don’t have a better idea yet.
Ax the larva stat block.
Zombie, Badna: Save this for the product that actually features the Star of Badna artifact. If you insist, I’ve found several errors, tho.
Animals and vermin coming soon...
:embarrass
We should get you on as our editor, hehe.
Originally posted by Hill Giant
BTW, you guys did a great job, not perfect, of course...
Danke.
Plant: Why do some of them get such large bonuses to grapple checks? (If you insist on these, they should be -racial- bonuses.)
Not sure, Str maybe?
Will double check all of those.
Psi-Shadow: should be an outsider, not a magical beast.
Agreed, duh on me.
When it changes shape, is it still incorporeal?
Doubtful, at least that is the impression I got from the original polyhedron writeup. Probably need to clarify that more.
How does the chameleon power help a shadow?
Good question, I probably need to revisit this one.
Sandworm: Given that its meat is “easy to dry into jerky” the mark-up from 1 cp fresh to 40 cp dry seems steep.
The original writeup was even worse. I'm going to change the description some to reflect the markup, these things should be tough to kill, therefore their meat should be very rare, whether it's easy to dry or not.
Silt Serpent: What are its psionic powers?
They are there, they just aren't listed under the giant description, probably need to put them there or a "see normail silt serpent" or something.
Silt Weird: Given the new elemental weirds, perhaps a name change is in order?
This the name from polyhedron, not sure we can change it, or should.
Should be an elemental, not a magical beast.
Control Earth Elementals: range should be in feet, and the creature should be able to control a *total* equal to twice its HD.
Half damage vs. fire should be Fire Resistance X.
Weapon immunity: I’d prefer straight DR. Say DR 5/-. (No need to make everything exactly the same as 2e.)
Ageed.
Spider, Crystal: Can elementals lay eggs?
Hmm, thought we changed its type to something else.
Zombie, Badna: Save this for the product that actually features the Star of Badna artifact. If you insist, I’ve found several errors, tho.
Don't have a problem with it being in ToA, we can always include the artifact writeup or say "see such and such accessory" that the artifact writeup is in.
Animals and vermin coming soon...
Can't wait, heh.
BTW, you guys did a great job, not perfect, of course...
Thanks - perfection comes with pain ;) And speaking of which...
There are several cases where you put a creature’s character section into its combat section in place of a proper write-up.
Could you highlight which ones you mean - I'll go back and have another look...
Pakubrazi: Shouldn’t the pakubrazi loses its Dex when attached?
Tainted seems like a perfect acquired template.
Pakubrazi should probably use the Improved Grab rules for biting and draining - that would cover any loss of Dex bonus.
Is the tainted template the one from Warcraft? Not sure we can use that...
Paraelemental Beast: Does the ‘extended stay’ rules apply to elemental beast as well?
No, it only applies to the paraelementals. It's a 2e legacy that makes paraelemental beasts less stable on the prime material.
Magma: Remove reference to lower planes in the description.
I see your point here. Imho, the reference could stay, however, as it is intended to give DMs a handy tag to use in their descriptions and not reflect any "athasian" viewpoint. Not a biggie, though.
Sun: How exactly does this beast seek a Huge amount of sunlight?
Just by flying about the place in the sunshine. Sun beasts have it easy - that's why they're so common. Nightfall brings real problems for them, however...
Plant: Why do some of them get such large bonuses to grapple checks? (If you insist on these, they should be -racial- bonuses.)
They should all be racial bonuses - that's my goof. They get them because those species of plants are specialised in obtaining food through grabbing and holding their prey in one way or another. I wanted them to have a real edge in their natural arena.
Blossomkiller: The description implies that this creature is more than Large.
Its poison seems ineffectual, given that the 1 minute delay on paralysis.
Yeah, it definitely needs to be bigger. Personally, I like the poison, though - grogginess followed by unconsciousness.
Raakle: What’s the mechanical difference between using its acid on person who is grappled vs. one who isn’t?
The grappled target will have taken more damage from claws(and is hence more likely to die right away from an acid spray) and is unable to run away. The raakle can also drag it about the place if it wishes. The mechanical differences are slight, but the distinction was made as a way of representing the creature's instincts. The raakle is rather dim and is the kind of creature that will only attack if it feels relatively secure in securing a kill - a flavour point rather than a mechanical one.
also, what’s a ‘by-blow’?
A bastard offspring. There are some thews in there somewhere, too ;)
Sandbride: It’s the negative energy plane, not material. Actually, should this be changed to the Black?
Water vulnerability: Do they take 1d6 damage regardless of amount, or per gallon?
Heh, oh yeah. Old fert legacy revealed. I think it should stay negative energy a the Black isn't really the same thing and (iirc) Athas has connections to the pos/neg planes.
I'd say 1d6 per gallon is probably more sensible.
Sand Howler: Gaze: what’s the DC based on?
What configuration are its eyes on its face?
It's based on Wis, but the stats are either wrong or its missing a bonus Ability Focus feat. Not sure about the eyes (the 2e description and picture were inconsistent) but iirc they are in twin vertical rows down either side of its head.
Sandworm: Given that its meat is “easy to dry into jerky” the mark-up from 1 cp fresh to 40 cp dry seems steep.
Damn. I was gonnna keep quiet about that and make a killing in sandworm jerky. Ho hum...
(jk)
Scrab: Is it’s burrow speed 10’ or 20’?
Nest mother: for some reason she has the stats for a sand mother.
It's 10. Oops. Will fix the stat block.
Those zany sand-mothers, they get everywhere I tell ya ;)
Seed, Brain: Why not just list this as Brain Seed?
At what range can the brain seed affect its marks with life drain and other powers?
There should be rules for removing an implanted seed.
Umm, yeah. Heh. I also thought about putting them with the other carnivorous plants, but they're not really carnivores. Thoughts, anyone?
Excellent point about the range. Off-hand, I'd make the energy drain Medium range. But, as a benefit of requiring implanted seeds to use psionic powers, I wonder if doubling the ranges of all of its powers might be a good idea. It should balance out with the creature's immobility. Halving the radius of the seed cloud might make sense too - avoids the rather pointless possibility of infecting targets that remain out of range. What do folks think about this?
Red: Red: What is the effect of ‘cough’ing?
Is its land speed 15’ or 20’?
Bad hair?
It land speed is 20.
Spider, Crystal: Can elementals lay eggs?
Sure, why not?
Spider, Dark: Why Always Neutral?
2e legacy. "Usually lawful neutral" might better. Or even evil?
Squark: Organization: Solitary (unique)Rule of thumb: when describing a horrible beast of destruction, avoid using the word ‘rump’. (It’s bad enough it’s called a squark.)
lol. I have nothing against bright red rumps surging from the deep myself...
Tarek: I think you mean to say their language is –fearsome- in tone, not fearful.
Yes - thanks
· Tari - Monstrous humanoids don't get subtypes like plain humanoids. Disease: They don't lose Con 'temporarily', they take temporary Con damage. Also, in the second to last sentence, 'false' should be in parentheses. Society: last sentence - What venom glands?
Oops - will fix type. The venom glands are an obsolete reference - snip!
Tul'k - S/R 10/10, it is large (tall), yes? Stunning: DC based on what?
Yes, they need more reach. Stunning is based on Con, but should probably be based on Str.
Animals and vermin coming soon...
Heh, cool. No pain, no gain ;)
Thanks again for all of your work, Hill Giant - it's a huge help. We'd have been at this forever if we continued doing all the reviewing on our own. Lifesaver
Sand Bride: Why Fey and not Outsider? The description states that they are from the Negative Material Plane.
Thanks!
Originally posted by Arborus
One additional comment.
Sand Bride: Why Fey and not Outsider? The description states that they are from the Negative Material Plane.
Thanks!
Not sure why these were assigned the fey type. The description of fey does state that they are magical creatures with connection to nature that are tied to some force or place. It may be the case that, when a particular type of outsider from the negative energy plane becomes trapped on Athas, it becomes a sand bride and takes the fey type. Outsider (extraplanar) works just as well, though, and probably makes more sense from a game-mechanics point of view. Thoughts, anyone? Bueller?
Originally posted by Kamelion
Not sure why these were assigned the fey type. The description of fey does state that they are magical creatures with connection to nature that are tied to some force or place. It may be the case that, when a particular type of outsider from the negative energy plane becomes trapped on Athas, it becomes a sand bride and takes the fey type. Outsider (extraplanar) works just as well, though, and probably makes more sense from a game-mechanics point of view. Thoughts, anyone? Bueller?
I remember there being a good reason for them being fey.
What that reason was I can't seem to recall.
I say leave them and use the above for the reason why.
We need a few more fey on Athas, pretty scarce right now, just have these guys, SotLs and Pyreen.
Originally posted by NytCrawlr
I remember there being a good reason for them being fey.
What that reason was I can't seem to recall.
I say leave them and use the above for the reason why.
We need a few more fey on Athas, pretty scarce right now, just have these guys, SotLs and Pyreen.
Yeah, I recall that there had been a rationale for this too but it was some time back - can't recall exactly what it was anymore
It would be good to have a fey or two or three knocking about. Gab, Feebles - you folks have anything more on this?Originally posted by Kamelion
re: character writeup in combat section:
Could you highlight which ones you mean - I'll go back and have another look...
Just had a look at the MM, and they do that with all the standard races, but things like gith and tarek, are formatted like that, too, and they're not 'standard' races. Not a real problem, tho.
Pakubrazi should probably use the Improved Grab rules for biting and draining - that would cover any loss of Dex bonus.
Is the tainted template the one from Warcraft? Not sure we can use that...
I mean to say that people bitten by a pakubrazi should acquire a Tainted template that causes them to go buggy.
They should all be racial bonuses - that's my goof. They get them because those species of plants are specialised in obtaining food through grabbing and holding their prey in one way or another. I wanted them to have a real edge in their natural arena.
My initial impression is that some of the racial bonuses are too high for their CR.
Yeah, it definitely needs to be bigger. Personally, I like the poison, though - grogginess followed by unconsciousness.
Groggy characters can wander away from a immobile plant.
2e legacy. "Usually lawful neutral" might better. Or even evil?
Usually Lawful neutral or evil sounds about right.
One more thing: you have LAs for creatures that can used as PCs, but not for things that might be cohorts.
About to host a party for a bunch of 6 year olds - assuming I survive that I'll bounce some ideas back later. (Cohorts - yeah, good point!)Great work otherwise, I was not looking forward to having to convert those monsters myself.:D
Just had a look at the MM, and they do that with all the standard races, but things like gith and tarek, are formatted like that, too, and they're not 'standard' races. Not a real problem, tho.
Gotcha. It looks to me like these were given the "player race" treatment. Will check to see if this is appropriate.
I mean to say that people bitten by a pakubrazi should acquire a Tainted template that causes them to go buggy.
That's a cool idea. Dunno if it's too much tweak for small/short-term results but I like the idea a lot. Gonna look into this too
My initial impression is that some of the (plant) racial bonuses are too high for their CR.
Hmmm. They could maybe do with an extra point - not sure about this. I'd be really grateful if anyone has some playtest feedback on these guys...
Groggy characters can wander away from a immobile plant.
Heh, so they can. What about upping the poison damage to 2d6 or even 3d6 Dex? Or just making the initial damage paralysis for one round?
One more thing: you have LAs for creatures that can used as PCs, but not for things that might be cohorts.
Yes. This needs real consideration, I suppose. As an aside, what sort of things do people think would be fun or useful as cohorts?
As an aside, what sort of things do people think would be fun or useful as cohorts?
Anything that doesn't bite your head off before you can tell it to bite the heads off your enemies?
Also rereading through the DS handbook, Thri-Kreen don't have any mention of Dasl at all, nor anything about not being able to wear armor. Being 11 feet long shouldn't thier size be increased to Large creature? Maybe add a Length beside thier Height and Weight in table 2-3 as well? I know not everything transfered from 2e, so I'm assuming thier blindsight ability was removed as well. Are they immune to Charm Person and Hold Person spells?