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Fabulous Fentwick the Flawless, The Vainest Sorcerer This Side of the Fashion Plane

by Reverend Dungeon Master

A Level 7 Encounter for Characters With Low Tolerance for Drama and Glitter

You bust open the gilded double doors, weapons drawn and nerves taut, and immediately regret it.

The room smells of lavender, crushed emeralds, and aggressive self-esteem.
A gold-framed mirror tilts slightly.
A velvet chaise lounges more confidently than you do.

And then: “Oh no. Adventurers. And not a tailored doublet among you.”

Spinning on his heel, with a robe of sequins and spite, stands Fentwick the Flawless, whose ego entered the room three rounds ago.

FENTWICK THE FLAWLESS
Medium Humanoid (Human), Chaotic Fabulous
Armour Class: 15 (Robe of Glamorous Defence)

Hit Points: 78 (12d8 + 24)

Speed: 30 ft

Proficiency Bonus: +3

Saving Throws: Cha +6, Con +5

Skills: Deception +8, Performance +9, Persuasion +6

Damage Resistances: Psychic (obviously)

Condition Immunities: Charmed

Languages: Common, Elvish, Infernal, and “Style”

Abilities
STR 9 (–1)
DEX 14 (+2)
CON 14 (+2)
INT 12 (+1)
WIS 10 (+0)
CHA 18 (+4)

Special Features
Fey-Fashioned Sorcery (1/day): When casting an area spell, Fentwick may explode it in a wave of shimmering glitter. Creatures in the area must also make a DC 15 Charisma save or suffer disadvantage on Charisma-based checks for 1 hour due to acute embarrassment.

Monologue of Magnificence (Recharge 5–6): Fentwick delivers a self-indulgent soliloquy. Creatures within 30 ft must make a DC 15 Wisdom save or be stunned until the end of his next turn. On a success, they gag slightly.

Spellcasting
Fentwick is a 10th-level spellcaster (Charisma-based). Spell save DC 15; +7 to hit.

Cantrips (at will): Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Minor Illusion, Vicious Mockery
1st level (4 slots): Shield, Charm Person, Magic Missile
2nd level (3 slots): Mirror Image, Suggestion
3rd level (3 slots): Fireball, Counterspell
4th level (3 slots): Greater Invisibility, Phantasmal Killer
5th level (2 slots): Wall of Force, Dominate Person

Legendary Actions (2 per round)
Pose Dramatically: Gain +2 AC until next turn

Insult (2 actions): Cast Vicious Mockery (3d4 psychic, DC 15)

Tactics
Fentwick opens with Mirror Image, uses Fireball if you’re ugly and grouped, and Dominate Person on the one wearing clashing colours. If seriously threatened, he'll Wall of Force a runway exit and scream, “I REFUSE to be defeated by people in THAT!”

Treasure Tally
Fentwick’s hoard is curated with obsessive flair and a label gun:
Magic Items
Robe of Glamorous Defence (AC 15, advantage on saves vs. effects that would dirty or damage it. Unreasonably shiny.)

Wand of Sassy Deflection (10 charges. Reaction to impose disadvantage on ranged spell attacks. Recharges 1d6+4 daily.)

Mirror of Me Me Me (1/day reflects a spell like Counterspell. Only works on spells with a visible effect and enough drama.)

Perfume of Fey Appeal (1/day cast Charm Person, DC 15. Smells like overconfidence and rose water.)

Scroll of Self-Reflection (Greater Invisibility and a passive-aggressive poem written to himself)

Jewels and Coin

3 Rings of Utter Fabulousness (gold, platinum, obsidian) – 300 gp each

1 Jeweled Compact Mirror – 150 gp

4 Perfumed Coin Purses – 525 gp total in mixed coins

1 Tiara of Questionable Taste – 75 gp, but someone at court will pay double

2 ornamental sceptres (solid silver with tiny dancing shoes on top) – 200 gp each

Total Treasure Value:
Gold/Coins: 525 gp
Gems/Jewels: 1,325 gp
Magic Items: ~Rare tier loot for 5e; estimated value 2,000–3,000 gp depending on how ridiculous your party is.
Misc. Art Objects: 425 gp
Total Loot Value: ~4,275 gp

Final Words (if defeated):
If knocked out:
“Tell the bards... to remember me fondly. And to get my cheekbones right.”
If spared:
“You can take my treasure... but you’ll never take my flair!”

Note: EOTD is shared to many groups within the TTRPG community, on FB and elsewhere. Some of these groups cater to OSR and others to the modern D&D game. As such, EOTD alternates between OSR and new school stats. Sometimes, it's completely homebrew. If you find one EOTD not acceptable to your needs, not to worry, something else will come along shortly. Remember, consume EOTD responsibly. EOTD is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you or a loved one has suffered from overexposure to EOTD, seek medical attention immediately. Neither EOTD or Reverend Dungeon Master is responsible for the actions of TSR or WotC, which is likely to have caused both nostalgia and revulsion. Friends don't let friends roll natural ones. That's a lie. Friends totally let friends roll epic fails, and laugh when the lich uses them as their next phylactery. Roll a new character.

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