Mystaran Pie (or Mad Wizard's Lament)
by Aaron NowackWith some of the recent postings this piece of ilk seemed appropriate.
To the tune of "American Pie":
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how
the zzonga used to make me smile
And I knew if he had his chance
Broderick would whoop Thincol's ass
And then Zandor would be happy for a while
But AY 2012 made me shiver
With events that it delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I nearly broke right down and cried
when I heard about the Ark crew's plan.
But something touched me deep inside
The day Alphatia died...
So bye-bye Eriadna High
flew my skyship down to Sundsvall but Sundsvall was gone
Fighters, Wizards, Clerics, and Thieves,
singing, "This'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die."
Did you ride the Ship of Love,
and do you have faith in the Immortals above?
If the Emperor tells you so
Oh, do you believe in the World Hollow,
can Alphatia still go?
Will you listen to a mundane
tell you no?
Oh, I know that they are traitors,
'cause I saw them plotting in the moors.
Their evil Thyatian plot
slew many on the spot.
He was another insane emperor
But his trusted friends even more
knew they ran out of luck
The day Alphatia died...
He was singin'
bye-bye Eriadna High
flew my skyship down to Sundsvall but Sundsvall was gone
Fighters, Wizards, Clerics, and Thieves,
singing, "This'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die."
Now for four years we've been on our own
and towers've crumbled down to stone
But that's not how it used to be
when black wizards walked in the day
with evil plots, it was okay
and the mundaners, they were oppressed.
Oh, but while Zandor was feeling down
Haldemar snuck in and stole his crown
Then he picked up and he split
for that we should convict
And while we read a book of spells
the Council made itself all swell
And the coup, it made an awful smell
The day Alphatia died...
They were singin'
bye-bye Eriadna High
flew my skyship down to Sundsvall but Sundsvall was gone
Fighters, Wizards, Clerics, and Thieves,
singing, "This'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die."
Blackheart, Darkheart
Not to mention the slave mart
Were no longer places to park
for they were no longer a smash
for the Council made them look crass
to please the mundane mass
With the Thyatians on the sidelines, getting cash
Well the Esterhold war was a foul perfume
to help make us wake up and resume
the policies of Zandor
But the Council found that poor
As Broderick's horde unleashed their wrath
they should have gotten an oily bath
And Skothar went a different path
The day Alphatia died...
They were singin'
bye-bye Eriadna High
flew my skyship down to Sundsvall but Sundsvall was gone
Fighters, Wizards, Clerics, and Thieves,
singing, "This'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die."
Terari nimble, Terari quick
Terari plays a magic trick
to get away from this insane place
And Zandor watched him from the stage
his face painted in shades of rage
No Thousand Mages
should betray this land of age
And as the skyships flew away
Zandor thought of how he may
find a way to save the day
The day Alphatia died...
He was singin'
bye-bye Eriadna High
flew my skyship down to Sundsvall but Sundsvall was gone
Fighters, Wizards, Clerics, and Thieves,
singing, "This'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die."
I met a mage who who saw the true
And I asked him for good news
but he just frowned and turned away
And I went down to the ocean floor
But I couldn't find the bodies anymore
And a friend told me they wouldn't stay
And in the streets the mundanes screamed
the wizards cried and the Council schemed
But not a word was spoken,
Alphatia was broken.
And the three men I admire most
Zandor, Torenal, and King Hurgoth's ghost
took the last boat off the coast.
The day Alphatia died...
I was singin'
bye-bye Eriadna High
flew my skyship down to Sundsvall but Sundsvall was gone
Fighters, Wizards, Clerics, and Thieves,
singing, "This'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die."