The Tower of Questionable Sanity
by Reverend Dungeon MasterTHE PREMISE
You and your brave-ish adventuring party have heard whispers of the Tower of Questionable Sanity, an ancient spire owned by the famously unhinged wizard Archibald the Ambivalent. Within lies a magical item of unspeakable power — the Amulet of Slight Inconvenience, capable of turning wine to vinegar and boots to uncomfortable.
You’re not alone. A rival group of bandits-for-hire, led by a smug Tabaxi rogue in flashy boots, is also after the prize. They’re faster, louder, and infinitely more Instagrammable.
LEVEL ONE: THE FOYER OF FLIMSY SECURITY
You enter the tower through an open window (the front door being busy holding a grudge). Inside: cracked tiles, suspicious stains, and a welcome mat that says "Bugger Off."
TRAP: The Rug of Face-Planting™
One step on the ornate rug triggers a magical banana-peel effect.
Each creature that steps on it must make a DC 13 Dexterity Saving Throw or fall prone, drop one random item, and suffer 1d4 psychic damage from embarrassment.
The rug cackles. You feel personally attacked.
LEVEL TWO: THE LIBRARY OF CRYPTIC CRYPTICS
PUZZLE: The Bookcase of Passive-Aggression
The only exit is hidden. A massive bookcase blocks the way and says, “Oh, I suppose you’d like me to move, would you?”
To proceed, the players must arrange the following books in the correct order:
- Potions You Shouldn’t Drink
- A History of Ill-Advised Haircuts
- How to Trap Adventurers for Fun and Profit
- I’m Not Mad, Just Disappointed: A Wizard’s Diary
Clue on the wall: “Judge not the cover, but the alphabet.”
The correct order by title: A, H, I, P
If they succeed: the bookcase sighs and slides open.
If they fail: the bookcase rolls over them for 2d6 bludgeoning damage and still doesn't move.
LEVEL THREE: THE BROOM CLOSET OF BANDITRY
Enter the rival bandits. These aren’t your garden-variety thugs — they’ve got flair, matching uniforms, and marketing strategies.
Bandit Crew (AC 13, HP 22 each)
“Mediocre Swordplay” – +4 to hit, 1d8+2 slashing
Tabaxi Rogue Leader: Boots-on-Paws
15
- Feline Agility: Dash, dodge, and insult twice as fast.
- Boot Swipe: Bonus action – knock a magic item out of a PC’s hand (DC 14 Dex save)
- Sneer of Confidence: Once per encounter, forces all PCs within 10 ft. to make a DC 12 Wisdom save or feel mildly inferior (disadvantage on next action).
Defeating the crew earns applause from an enchanted coat rack and 60 gold coins in shiny belt pouches.
LEVEL FOUR: THE WIZARD’S LOUNGE (Final Encounter)
You find Archibald the Ambivalent, deep in debate with his spellbook over the ethics of animated furniture. He sees you. He weeps. Then laughs. Then throws a teacup at you.
Archibald the Ambivalent (Mad Wizard – Final Boss)
16
- Spellflux Bolt (2/day): Shoots a bolt of raw magic. +7 to hit, 4d10 force damage, and target must roll on a wild magic table.
- Animated Armchair Minions (2): Each AC 13, HP 20, bludgeon with armrests for 1d8+1.
- Indecision Field (Passive): Any spell or action targeting Archibald has a 25% chance of being redirected to a random target (friend, foe, wall).
During the battle, he shouts things like:
- “I prepared Fireball, but should I? Really?”
- “This teacup is the key to everything!”
- “You’re not real! Or are you?”
TREASURE ROOM
Behind Archibald lies a glowing pedestal holding the Amulet of Slight Inconvenience. Nearby, a sign reads:
“Do not use near salads, potions, or romantic partners.”
Loot Includes:
- Amulet of Slight Inconvenience (minor cursed item, makes daily life mildly frustrating)
- 240 GP
- Wand of Door Unlocking (only works on doors already unlocked)
- Scroll of Summon Minor Nuisance (conjures a creature that criticises your haircut)
- Archibald’s Diary (mostly complaints about chairs)
Les
This week’s AOTW comes from DUNGEON DUNCE WEEKLY #2, which features articles on the Return of the Sage Advice Compendium, THE 25 MOST "EPIC" D&D CAMPAIGNS EVER MADE, an ALL NEW Homebrew class (THE MEDIC), which includes a ridiculous amount of unnecessary details, and all the offensive snark you can handle. Read it. FREE! (Because no one would pay to be insulted).