Shell Game Shenanigans (The Not-So-Armadillo Ambush!)
by Reverend Dungeon MasterWhere deception rolls hard, daggers fly, and the only thing real is the regret.
You’re tromping through the underbrush, ankle-deep in leaves, pride, and poor decisions, when your party stumbles upon what appears to be a rather chunky armadillo snoring gently beneath a sunbeam. Its shell glistens unnaturally. One of your companions whispers, “Aww, look, nature!” which is your first mistake.
You, of course, trust nothing that naps this hard in the wild without a crossbow.
Then the armadillo blinks. Stretches. Coughs. And pulls out a bloomin’ dagger.
BANDIT, DISGUISED AS AN ARMADILLO
(Definitely not an actual armadillo. Definitely needs a bath.)
Armour Class (AC): 6 (thanks to that homemade armadillo shell, likely stolen from a roadside attraction)
Hit Points (HP): 10
Attacks:
Rusty Dagger Stab: +1 to hit, 1d4 damage
Roll and Kick (once per encounter): The bandit curls up, rolls into the nearest party member like an angry wheel of cheese. Must make a Save vs Paralysis or fall prone in shame, 1d6 damage and mild humiliation.
Morale: 7 (runs off if half his snacks are stolen or if someone points out real armadillos don’t wear boots)
Movement: 90’ (30’), but somehow faster when fleeing
Treasure Type: U (Unbelievably underwhelming)
TREASURE
Once you thwack him into unconsciousness (or he fake-surrenders, your choice), you discover:
7 gp
13 sp
A half-eaten scotch egg
A forged "Letter of Nobility" signed in crayon
A small tin of “Armadillo Polish” (may cause hallucinations if inhaled)
As he scampers off, dragging his fake tail behind him, he shouts, “You haven’t seen the last of me! I’ve got a ferret costume for next week!”
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