Sir Hissington the Sulky
by Reverend Dungeon MasterAn utterly unpleasant run-in with a black dragon who smells like vinegar and complains like your nan at a bus stop.
You squelch through a bog thick enough to eat your boots and half your self-respect. Just as you're considering turning back, the mist parts like a theatre curtain, and there he is.
Sir Hissington the Sulky, a black dragon lounging across a mound of rotting logs and tarnished gold, glaring down like someone just spilled gravy on his favourite cushion.
"Brilliant. More damp nitwits stomping round my swamp. Come to loot my hoard and ruin my day, have you? Do queue up properly, I’m absolutely thrilled."
He hacks up a stream of acid like a bad kebab, melting a tree, your dignity, and Gary the Bard’s only lute. Then he sighs. Loudly.
"You know, I was having a perfectly miserable afternoon before you lot showed up."
Sir Hissington the Sulky – Adult Black Dragon
- AC: 19 (polished bin-lid scales)
- HP: 195 (17d12 + years of bottled-up bitterness)
- Speed: 40 ft., fly 80 ft., swim 40 ft.
Special Attacks:
- Acid Breath (Recharge 5–6): 60-ft. line (5 ft. wide), 13d8 acid damage. Smells like old cabbage and childhood trauma.
- Withering Whinge (1/day): Everyone within 30 ft. makes a Wisdom Check or becomes too demoralised to fight properly, suffering -2 on attack rolls for 1 minute.
- Tail Swipe of Disapproval: +10 to hit, 2d10 + 5 damage and a lingering sense of failure.
Legendary Actions (3 per round):
- Eye Roll: One target must reroll any check. "Oh no, don’t mind me, just watching you fail in real time."
- Dramatic Sigh: All creatures within 10 ft. make a Charisma Check or lose inspiration and suffer mild personal reflection.
- Snide Remark: Interrupts one action within 30 ft., forcing an Intelligence Check to continue. "You really thought that would work?"
Defeat Sir Hissington the Sulky, and you might earn a hoard full of melted coins and soggy sarcasm. Fail, and you’ll be remembered as “those plonkers what tried the dragon with feelings.”
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