"Troll and Unusual Punishment"
by Reverend Dungeon Master(An unfortunate stroll into the laziest ambush ever staged)
You're trudging through a swamp so foul it should be fined. The mud sucks at your boots with all the enthusiasm of a tavern drunk offered free ale. Then you spot it.
A Troll.
Or... at least 80% of a troll. The rest seems to have melted into the log it’s reclining against. One leg’s in the water. The other is being chewed on lazily by something that might be a leech. It doesn't seem bothered.
"Oi," it grunts. "You lot got snacks?"
You do not.
It sighs. Loudly. Dramatically. Then, with all the speed and enthusiasm of a sleepy barnacle, it stands up, bones creaking like a badly tuned lute, and reaches for you with a claw the size of a butcher’s regret.
Troll (BECMI Stats)
Armour Class: 4 (generous; it's not exactly dodging)
Hit Dice: 6 + 3 (33 HP; more if you count what's growing back)
Move: 120’ (40’) when motivated (rare)
Attacks: 2 Claws (1d4+1), 1 Bite (1d8), delivered with the energy of someone who just woke from a roast coma
No. Appearing: 1
Save As: Fighter 6
Morale: 10 (but only because fleeing takes effort)
Treasure Type: C
XP Value: 950
Special Abilities:
Regeneration: Heals 3 HP per round unless damaged by fire or acid. Which it absolutely hates. Like, really whines about it.
Grumble Field (Optional Rule): Any intelligent creature within 10 feet must make a Save vs. Spells or be slightly demoralised by the troll’s constant muttering about how nothing's fair anymore. “Adventurers this, fireballs that…”
Tactics:
Opens with a yawn. Possibly bites through it.
Will continue fighting until injured below half HP, then considers bargaining, sulking, or lying down again.
Absolutely will not chase anyone. “If they wanted to be eaten, they’d come back,” it reasons aloud.
Treasure Tally (Type C):
Hidden in a cracked barrel behind the troll, beside some very old fish:
1,200 copper pieces (wet)
900 silver pieces (wetter)
1 gem (worth 250 gp; smells faintly of troll pocket)
A suit of chainmail +1 (was being used as a blanket)
A scroll of Protection from Trolls (unread, due to literacy being optional)
Narrator’s Note: If defeated, the troll will collapse like a sack of wet laundry and mutter, “Figures,” before regenerating a pinkie in protest. If spared, it offers to join your party, as long as there’s no marching before noon.
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