"Where’s Woolly?" (Or: The Curious Case of the Sheepish Shapeshifter)
by Reverend Dungeon MasterLocation: A suspiciously moonlit meadow somewhere between the Shire of Sheepbottom and the Township of Dodgy Bloke-upon-Twig.
What the players see:
You come across a man in mud-caked boots and a wool-stained waistcoat furiously shaking a shepherd’s crook at the sky. His name, he insists, is Nigel Fluffsworth, and he’s the sort of fellow who smells faintly of mutton and wool sweaters.
Read Aloud (with dramatic flair):
A desperate bleating cuts through the crisp evening air, followed by the sound of someone failing to whistle properly. A shepherd with a magnificent comb-over and an even more impressive nose turns to you and yells, “Oi! You seen any suspicious sheep around? I’m missin’ three of the fluffiest in the flock. Someone’s nickin’ ’em, and it ain’t foxes this time. Foxes don’t leave muddy boot prints, do they?!”
WHAT’S ACTUALLY GOING ON?
Nigel suspects the local beetroot farmer, Eustace Munch, who recently stopped selling root veg and mysteriously started selling exotic woollen jumpers under the name “Lunar Threads.” He also only works on full moon nights, howls when surprised, and insists on “rare” steak so rare it still runs away.
The real twist? Eustace is a werewolf with an allergy to wool, so he steals sheep, sneezes uncontrollably, then accidentally mauls them. Classic.
ROLEPLAYING NIGEL FLUFFSWORTH
Constantly misremembers the names of his own sheep: “That one was either Baaarbara or Lamb Chop. Hard to say.”
Wildly gesticulates with his crook. Occasionally pokes himself in the eye.
Convinced this is part of a massive conspiracy involving moon cheese and livestock emigration.
Offers “wool coins” as a reward. They are, unfortunately, just tufts of fluff shaped like currency.
INVESTIGATION
Clues players might discover:
Muddy bootprints leading from the pasture to Eustace’s suspiciously large shed labelled “NOT A SECRET WEREWOLF LAIR.”
Tufts of wool and claw marks, along with a half-knitted jumper titled “Woolverine.”
A recipe book inside the shed: “Cooking With Canines: Shepherd’s Pie for People Named Shepherd.”
CONFRONTATION WITH EUSTACE
Eustace Munch is mid-sweater when the party arrives. He panics, sneezes violently, and transforms halfway into his werewolf form, managing to maintain his moustache.
Eustace Munch, Itchy Werewolf Farmer
AC: 13 (sweater vest + denial)
HP: 45
Abilities:
Wool Allergy: Takes 1d4 damage every round he's in contact with wool. Sneeze has 10 ft cone, Dexterity check or be blinded with mucus for 1 round.
Lunar Lunge: 1d8 claw swipe + 1d6 "emotional damage" from betrayal.
Yarn Snare: Throws tangled jumper at one player. Dexterity check or be grappled in grandma-grade knitwear.
Tactics:
He opens with a sneeze and a dramatic monologue about the burden of lycanthropy and fashion.
Tries to run if below 10 HP, muttering, “I only wanted to feel cosy!”
IF THE PARTY WINS
Nigel thanks the players profusely and rewards them with a “purebred” sheep named Sir Woolington the Fourth (the sheep immediately eats someone’s map). They also gain 1d4 enchanted wool tufts that grant +1 warmth but -1 dignity when worn.
IF THE PARTY LOSES
Eustace adds them to his new knitwear line: “Heroes’ Hide Collection. Authentic and Slightly Screaming.”
Nigel names a chicken after each of them. They never live it down.
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