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Humourous Artifacts

by Kit Navarro

I found this old article I wrote, basically about these humorous artifacts were inspired by the discussions among the GPD.

Hope you enjoy the humour:

Kit's Mysterious Seat Cushion of Unexplained Arcana This plush pillow has a secret pocket dimension underneath it, so that a person (usually an editor), can sit on controversial issues, especially about continuity and canon, for indefinite periods of time, until the issue blows over, the arguing parties lose interest and forget the issue, or for that rare occurrence when someone actually comes up with a bright idea to resolve those issues!

Jenn's Jade Ring of Pipe Dream Resistance This ring is made of pure Ochalean jade, and grants a +4 bonus for saves vs. illusions/phantasm, particularly illusions regarding (yet another) official revival of the Mystara product line.

This last one is a spell:

Ditto's Infective Curse of Perpetual and Repetitive Agreement This enchantment gives its target the compulsive behaviour to openly express one's agreement with the opinion of another person, especially if the other person's opinion is an open expression of agreement with the first person's opinion. There is a cumulative 5% chance of passing on the curse to another person every time that person agrees with you, and a cumulative -1 penalty to save per person who agrees with you.

This spell was invented by some sycophantic, flattering magist for the Temple of Koryis in Darokin, and is sometimes used by the DCC, especially for tactical delays. It has been known to spread in epidemic proportions in the MML every month.