Critical Fumbles
by Ralph Schimpl1. You trip over your own feet and fall prone.
2. You hit yourself with your own weapon, dealing minimum damage to yourself.
3. You drop your weapon and it lands 10 feet away from you in a random direction.
4. You accidentally hit an ally adjacent to you, dealing half damage to them.
5. You lose your balance and provoke an opportunity attack from an enemy.
6. You swing your weapon too hard and it gets stuck in a wall, a tree, or the ground.
7. You misjudge the distance and miss your target by a wide margin.
8. You lose your grip on your weapon and it flies out of your hand in a random direction.
9. You hit an object or a surface that causes your weapon to ricochet back at you, dealing half damage to yourself.
10. You overextend yourself and pull a muscle, reducing your speed by half until the end of your next turn.
11. You slip and fall, dropping your weapon and becoming stunned until the end of your next turn.
12. You hit a vital spot on your target, but your weapon breaks or shatters in the process.
13. You expose yourself to an enemy and grant them advantage on their next attack against you.
14. You hit your target, but your weapon gets lodged in them and you have to use an action to retrieve it.
15. You swing your weapon wildly and hit nothing but air, making a loud noise that attracts unwanted attention.
16. You hit your target, but you also hit yourself in the process, dealing half damage to both of you.
17. You fumble with your weapon and it falls to the ground, making a loud clatter that alerts nearby enemies.
18. You hit your target, but your weapon bounces off their armor or skin, dealing no damage.
19. You hit your target, but you also hit an ally behind them, dealing half damage to both of them.
20. You hit your target, but your weapon gets stuck in their armor or clothing and they can use it against you.
21. You hit your target, but you also hit a nearby object that explodes, dealing fire damage to you and everyone within 10 feet of you.
22. You hit your target, but your weapon is cursed and you become afflicted by a random curse.
23. You hit your target, but your weapon is enchanted and you trigger a random magical effect.
24. You hit your target, but your weapon is sentient and it starts to talk to you, distracting you from the combat.
25. You hit your target, but your weapon is alive and it bites you, dealing piercing damage to you.
26. You hit your target, but your weapon is fragile and it splinters, dealing slashing damage to you.
27. You hit your target, but your weapon is poisonous and you accidentally cut yourself, becoming poisoned.
28. You hit your target, but your weapon is electric and you shock yourself, becoming paralyzed.
29. You hit your target, but your weapon is cold and you freeze yourself, becoming restrained.
30. You hit your target, but your weapon is hot and you burn yourself, becoming blinded.
31. You hit your target, but your weapon is sharp and you cut yourself, becoming bleeding.
32. You hit your target, but your weapon is heavy and you strain yourself, becoming exhausted.
33. You hit your target, but your weapon is light and you lose control of it, becoming disarmed.
34. You hit your target, but your weapon is loud and you deafen yourself, becoming deafened.
35. You hit your target, but your weapon is silent and you lose track of it, becoming surprised.
36. You hit your target, but your weapon is weird and you confuse yourself, becoming confused.
37. You hit your target, but your weapon is funny and you laugh yourself, becoming incapacitated.
38. You hit your target, but your weapon is scary and you frighten yourself, becoming frightened.
39. You hit your target, but your weapon is boring and you bore yourself, becoming uninterested.
40. You hit your target, but your weapon is annoying and you annoy yourself, becoming irritated.
41. You hit your target, but your weapon is rude and you insult yourself, becoming insulted.
42. You hit your target, but your weapon is nice and you compliment yourself, becoming flattered.
43. You hit your target, but your weapon is smart and you educate yourself, becoming smarter.
44. You hit your target, but your weapon is dumb and you dumb yourself, becoming dumber.
45. You hit your target, but your weapon is good and you heal yourself, becoming healed.
46. You hit your target, but your weapon is evil and you harm yourself, becoming harmed.
47. You hit your target, but your weapon is chaotic and you randomize yourself, becoming randomized.
48. You hit your target, but your weapon is lawful and you order yourself, becoming ordered.
49. You hit your target, but your weapon is neutral and you balance yourself, becoming balanced.
50. You hit your target, but your weapon is unique and you surprise yourself, becoming surprised.