The Baron's Little Helpers
by Reverend Dungeon MasterWelcome to the wild, wacky world of fantasy feudalism, where the rich get richer, and you get hired to do ridiculous things. This time, it’s Baron Rodrick von Moneybags, a man whose greatest crime (so far) is having more gold than sense. He’s decided his sprawling mansion needs “exotic help” and, rather than hire actual servants, he wants you to go into the woods and capture a live pack of kobolds. Why? Because he read somewhere that goblins are too high-maintenance.
Your mission, should you be foolish enough to accept it, is to capture at least six kobolds alive. Dead kobolds mean no bonus pay (and probably a lot of disappointed cultists somewhere). Expect minimal guidance, no hazard pay, and the lingering sensation that you're making the world a slightly worse place.
The kobolds have made a temporary camp in the ruins of an old watchtower. You find them squabbling over who gets to use the communal loincloth (fashioned from an old, filthy curtain) as a cape. Their leader, a slightly larger kobold named Morglut the Wise, is instructing them in the fine art of rock-throwing. Your approach is met with a mix of terror, hostility, and a few badly-aimed pebbles.
Kobold Camp Defenses:
Watchtower Perch – Two kobolds sit atop the crumbling tower, chucking improvised projectiles (1d2 damage) and shouting obscenities in a “language” you never cared to learn.
Pit Trap – A covered pit (10’ deep, 1d6 damage, Save vs. Paralysis or be stuck) lies just outside camp. One kobold was supposed to mark it, but he forgot, so even they don’t know where it is.
Kobold "War Dogs" – Two mangy, half-starved mutts (use Wild Dogs stats) that bark more than bite but will still try to protect their pathetic masters.
Kobold Pack (7 Kobolds + Morglut)
(Chaotic Vermin, Professional Nuisances)
AC: 7
HD: 1-1
HP: 3 each (Morglut has 5)
THAC0: 19
Attacks: 1 (dagger or thrown rock)
Damage: 1d4 or 1d2
Save As: Normal Man
Morale: 6 (8 if Morglut is still alive, 4 if he goes down)
XP: 5 each (Morglut is worth 10)
Special:
Flee on a Failed Morale Check – These guys have zero loyalty and will run like terrified children at the first sign of trouble.
Comedic Cowardice – If a kobold is reduced to 1 HP, he immediately surrenders, lies down, and pretends to be dead. An Intelligence check is required to tell the difference.
Morglut the Wise – Thinks he’s a sorcerer, but really just waves his hands around shouting “ZAP!” instead of attacking. If forced into melee, he fights like a regular kobold but with slightly more enthusiasm.
Capturing the Kobolds
Net (Dex Check, -2 penalty if they see it coming) – Traps 1d3 kobolds. They immediately start wailing about how this is "so unfair."
Non-lethal Damage – Reduce a kobold to 0 HP with a blunt attack, and he’ll be knocked out instead of dead.
Bribery (1d6 GP per kobold) – Offer food, money, or shiny objects, and at least half of them will defect willingly. Morglut will pretend he isn’t tempted, but he totally is.
Resolution
If you manage to wrangle at least six kobolds, Baron von Moneybags will reward you 50 GP per kobold delivered alive. If you bring fewer, he scoffs, “Pathetic effort, truly,” and deducts 5 GP per missing kobold. If you accidentally kill them all, he sighs and gives you a consolation prize of 25 GP, stating, “Well, I suppose I’ll have to buy halflings now.”
Treasure and XP
Kobold Loot: A total of 12 GP, some bent copper pieces, one crude wooden carving of a dragon ("It's a family heirloom!"), and Morglut’s “spellbook” (a blank notebook).
Total XP:
If all kobolds are captured: 55 XP per PC (assuming a party of four).
If some are killed: 30 XP per PC.
If you bribe them and they just follow you willingly: 20 XP per PC, but at the cost of your dignity.
Good luck, adventurers. And remember: the real moral of this story is never work for nobles.
Art: Kobold | Othya Wiki | Fandom
