The Serpent’s Maw – A Deep Dive into Worship and Woe
by Reverend Dungeon MasterWelcome, fearless dungeon delver, to yet another episode of "Why Did We Come Here Again?" This time, your band of underpaid and overconfident adventurers has stumbled into the bowels of an ancient jungle temple dedicated to a Giant Freaking Snake, because of course it is. The air is thick with incense, the kind that makes you wonder if the cultists have been burning something extra, and the walls are covered in hieroglyphs of screaming people, which is always a great sign.
At the far end of the chamber, reclining on a throne of bones, stolen treasure, and bad decisions, coils the temple’s living god, a Giant Snake so massive that its body loops around the chamber twice. Its golden eyes glimmer with an intelligence that suggests it knows you just interrupted dinner. Surrounding it, six acolytes in ragged robes chant ominous nonsense while fingering daggers that are less ceremonial and more sacrificial.
Good news: There’s a pile of treasure near the snake.
Bad news: You’re standing between the acolytes and their next ritual offering.
Giant Snake, Living God of the Temple
AC: 4 (Thick, scaly hide)
HD: 7 (Big. Very big.)
HP: 31 (Because you deserve this.)
Move: 90’ (30’) (Fast enough to ruin your day.)
Attacks: 1 bite OR constrict
Damage: 1d6 + poison (bite) or 2d6 (constrict)
Save As: Fighter 5
Morale: 9 (Will fight if provoked but slithers off if mortally wounded. It’s a god, not an idiot.)
THAC0: 13
Special Abilities:
Poison Bite: If the snake bites, make a Save vs. Poison or drop dead faster than a bard in plate mail.
Constriction: If it successfully attacks, it wraps around the target, dealing automatic 2d6 damage per round until you or it dies.
Hypnotic Gaze: If it spends a round staring at you, save vs. Spells or stand there slack-jawed, contemplating your life choices.
Cult Acolytes of the Coiled One (6 Total)
AC: 7 (Tattered robes do not equal armor.)
HD: 2 (Devoted but squishy.)
HP: 9 each (Strong enough to stab you, but not much else.)
Move: 120’ (40’) (Faster than you’d like.)
Attacks: 1 dagger OR magic (for the unfortunate spellcasters among you.)
Damage: 1d6 (dagger) or 1d4 (a weak spell because the DM is generous.)
Save As: Normal Man (because they are, in fact, normal men playing with fire.)
Morale: 8 (Fanatics, but not stupid.)
THAC0: 18
Special Abilities:
Zealous Rage: If their "god" takes damage, they gain +1 to hit for the rest of the fight because faith or something.
Blessing of the Coiled One: They can cast Cause Fear once per fight to make at least one of you rethink this whole dungeon-crawling career.
If you enter quietly, the acolytes are in full "praise be the snake" mode, giving you a chance to surprise them or, if you’re insane, try diplomacy.
If you bust in like a pack of murderhobos, the chanting stops, the acolytes pull daggers, and the snake lifts its head like it's just realized it’s feeding time.
First round, the acolytes go full "protect the god" mode while the snake picks a target to ruin.
By round three, the snake is either coiled around a screaming PC or dead, and the cultists are rethinking their life choices.
If the snake dies, the cultists roll Morale and probably run. If more than half of them die, the rest decide this wasn’t worth minimum wage and flee.
Treasure & XP
Because loot is why you're really here.
Altar Offerings: 600 GP worth of assorted gold trinkets, gems, and one silver idol of a coiled serpent worth 250 GP.
Cult Leader’s Chest: 400 GP, a Potion of Poison Resistance (the irony), and a Scroll of Snake-Related Nonsense (contains Charm Person and Speak with Animals)
The Snake’s Hide: If skinned, worth 500 GP to a weirdo who collects that kind of thing.
Total XP:
Giant Snake (HD 7) – 850 XP
6 Cultists (HD 2 each) – 300 XP total
Treasure XP: 1,750 XP
Total XP for the Encounter: 2,900 XP (divided among survivors, if any.)
You came, you saw, you probably lost a party member to constriction-based trauma. But hey, you got some nice loot and a cool story, which is all that really matters in the end. Next stop? Probably a temple dedicated to something even worse. Good luck explaining this mess to the villagers. Also, don't forget how to not worship false gods.
