Zombie Chickens almanac events
by GreenbrierWith the passing of the incomparable Betty White today the world is a less funny place, so we could all use a laugh to end/start the year! Thanks to Aoz and his Zombie Chickens for inspiring the further adventures of Ronald McDonald -
AMBYRMONT 9, AC 1014: Finger lickin' good?
Location: Glantri City Entertainers Quarter
Description: A dapper elderly gentleman in gleaming white robes enters the flagship McDonald's restaurant in the Entertainers Quarter of Glantri City this morning, asking for proprietor Ronald McDonald. The gentleman introduces himself as Harlan Sanders, a retired Grand Army colonel. Colonel Sanders explains that he had plans to open a restaurant of his own, but circumstances now require that he return to his ancestral homeland far away and he needs money for his journey. Therefore, Colonel Sanders offers to sell Ronald a crate of "Bramyra's finest chicken" at a bargain price.
McDonald's doesn't serve chicken, but Ronald feels sorry for the old man and agrees to purchase the crate. That afternoon he decides to cook up the chicken to feed his kobold & goblin Fry Guys at the end of their shift. He opens the crate and places a bird on the butcher block, removing its head with one practiced swoop of his cleaver. Ronald immediately feels a sharp pain and is horrified to see the decapitated chicken head with its beak buried deep in his index finger, while the body jumps off the block and spurs one of his cooks.
Ronald then watches in horror as chickens pour out of the crate and begin attacking his kitchen staff. Backing out of the kitchen towards the dining room, Ronald cries out for Grimace. The purple golem stands silent by a giant vat in the corner of the kitchen, grinning eerily and slowly stirring the sauce within. Grimace lumbers into the opening between the kitchen and dining room and stands like a wall, ladle swinging with inhuman strength and smashing any chicken who comes close into bits, bits which unfortunately keep moving and attacking as best they can.
Ronald is able to evacuate the dining room and sends for the constables. A wizard seals the building magically, although the chickens stay fixated on their grim business inside and make no effort to exit. It takes almost two hours to round up some licensed clerics to enter the restaurant with the constables, and destroy what remains of the foul flock. Ronald finally reenters the building to find the restaurant trashed, his kitchen staff pecked to death and only a large puddle of purple goo on the floor where faithful Grimace made his heroic stand.
What This Means: Someone is out to get Ronald McDonald and his successful restaurant chain. Although he lacks evidence, Ronald immediately suspects his old rival Lou Garou, who sold him the restaurant and retired home to Morlay-Malinbois nine years ago.
The constables can find no sign of the enigmatic Colonel Sanders. Ronald tells the authorities the Colonel claimed he needed money for a long journey to his homeland, and one patron remembers a jolly old man in white robes exiting the restaurant, singing to himself about his "old home" where "the sun shines bright".
What the PCs can do: If dining at McDonalds in Glantri City, fight zombie chickens! Or they could be hired by Ronald to investigate the attack - pay a visit to Lou Garou in Loupmont, search for Colonel Harlan Sanders, etc. If looking for less dangerous work they may be among the crew hired by Ronald to repair his flagship restaurant, which was heavily damaged in the attack.
AMBYRMONT 17, 1014: Who is Harlan Sanders?
Location: The Chancellery Centre, Parliament building in Glantri City
Description: Ronald McDonald has just finished meeting with carpenters about starting the repairs to his restaurant in the Entertainers Quarter when a messenger arrives from the Chancellery. Ronald is surprised to learn that he has been summoned to a meeting with the Chancellor of the Princes, Urmahid Krinagar of Bramyra, this very afternoon. With the restaurant closed for repairs and having recovered from the amputation of his damaged index finger at the General Hospital, Ronald heads off to the Parliament building.
At the Chancellery Centre Ronald is ushered into an ornately-furnished study and introduced to Prince Urmahid, who greets him warmly. The Prince first congratulates Ronald on his successful restaurant chain, noting that as Chancellor he has closely followed Ronald's expansion into other nations. With pleasantries out of the way, Urmahid then asks Ronald for all of the details of the incident with Colonel Sanders and the vicious chickens eight days ago. After listening in silence, the Prince reveals that there is no record of Harlan Sanders serving in the Grand Army, and the authorities have been searching for him for some time now. Urmahid explains that an unfortunate incident occurred in the Colossus Mounts Free Province recently involving common chickens animated as undead monstrosities. The Prince thought all of these abominations had been destroyed, until the mysterious Colonel surfaced using some of the reanimated chickens to cheat and win in cockfights around the Principality of Bramyra. The authorities were hot on his trail when he suddenly disappeared, after taking advantage of the crowds during last years Bramyran Rodeo Day festival to win huge sums with his unbeatable gamecocks. Sanders had not been spotted again until the attack last week on Ronald's restaurant in the capital.
Ronald explains his suspicion that Lou Garou was involved, but the Chancellor dismisses that idea with a wave of his hand. His agents have already checked on that possibility, and it seems that Mr. Garou passed away quietly at home in Loupmont in 1013. Prince Urmahid thanks Ronald for his time and asks a guard to show him out, after giving him the name of a wizard experienced with constructs who might be able to help restore Ronald's loyal companion Grimace.
What This Means: The mystery of the attack on McDonalds remains. Prince Urmahid had thought Sanders was just a small-time con man, and the Chancellor was really only interested in the situation because the zombie chickens originated in his area of influence. Now Urmahid suspects foreign involvement, and thinks perhaps Sanders is a powerful Alphatian necromancer seeking revenge on Glantri for the destruction of his nation (unbeknownst to the Prince, Sanders did not create the zombie chickens, he is only using them). With his only clue for now being what he learned from Ronald about the old man singing of his "old home" where "the sun shines bright", the Chancellor will dispatch a small group of investigators to the sunniest place in the Known World - the islands of Ierendi.
What the PCs can do: If the PCs are well-known in Glantri and on good terms with the authorities, they might be hired by Prince Urmahid to travel to Ierendi with the Chancellery footing the bill to search for Colonel Harlan Sanders.
If a PC wizard is experienced with golems, he or she might be the expert that Prince Urmahid referred Ronald to. Alternately, that wizard may be unable to revive Grimace and the PCs could be hired by Ronald to enlist the aid of Glantri's foremost expert in constructs - Viscount Rolf von Graustein of Blofeld.
PCs looking into the incident may also cross paths with The Bone Bandit, the necromancer who animated the zombie chickens to begin with and who is also now looking for Colonel Sanders, or with members of the Secret Craft of Necromancy who are very interested in learning more about the process used to create and control the birds.